Sunday, March 1, 2009


Woman to Woman

Let's talk!

Are you content with the condition of the world? Does it bother you that children go to school in the morning and are shot at by their school mates?

Does it make sense that we tell our daughters to say no to sex yet they are bombarded on a daily basis that they will not be "cool" or "liked" if they don't dress, act, talk and look sexy. Does it make sense to our duaghters and sons that we say we are so offended with the images of women and girls in advertisements, tv and movies but we continue to purchase and consume the very products who advertisements offend us?

Are you comfortable with the fact that almost every mother and father (especially fathers) on television are portrayed to be bumbling idiots. Dad can't plug in the toaster without blowing up the house and Mom is an emasculating Robo-Woman.

"Apathy is not the most dramatic form of suicide, just the most common." William J. O'Malley

What are we going to do to make this a better world for our children and grandchildren? Henri Amiel wrote, "Woman is the salvation or the destruction of the family, she carries it's destiny in the folds of her mantle." Mr. Amiel is right.

Men tend to define themselves according to how autonomous they are. We always wonder why they won't "commit" and I am sure it is because to "commit" is to lose one's separateness and therefore, one's identity. Women, on the other hand, define ourselves by our relationships. Unconsciously we believe, "I have a relationship therefore I am!" How many women stay in terrible relationships because unconsciously we believe that if we don't have even a lousy relationship we might cease to exist.


Now, one might think that this is a weakness but it is, in my humble opinion, one of our greatest strengths. It is because of the way we define ourselves that we are the caretakers of the earth. We are connected, we feel compassion, we nurture! We know in our hearts and souls that if any thing is wrong with one baby, one family or even one lake or river, that something is wrong with us all.

We just need to teach our daughters that the first relationship they have is with God, Goddess, All There Is, The Great Spirit, the Higher Power. The next relationship is with their self. Next, the relationship they have with Mom and Dad will accompany them for the rest of their lives so show them how important they are, how much they are loved and respected. If they never witness respect they will never recognize it.

A woman who was four-months pregnant asked her obstretician when she should begin teaching her new baby. The doctor answered, "You're four months late!"

Look at how connected we are? We menstruate on the same cycle as the moon and tides, and in the days before artificial light and synthetic birth control, we cycled with the other women in our huts and caves. We invented villages, agriculture, math! We are good!

Somewhere, sometime, somehow we lost our footing. We need to regain it. I'm not suggesting that we grab the reins from men and take control but I am suggesting that we put the focus back on our children, our elderly, our families, our communities. We turned our backs on the living and breathing and have surrendered to the inanimate, the governments, the corporations the organizations. When did we decide that it is more important to "give" our children stuff than to share ourselves with them.

3 comments:

goddess in the groove said...

This is a subject so close to my heart. I have a 11 year old daughter, and the day she was born I knew my mission was to build a better society for her. Girls in this society are not honored. They are trained, demeaned, and sexualized. And sadly, most of them get it passed down from their mothers.......not just society.

I come from a family of very strong women, but mostly, from a family of women who bond. I am bonded to my mother, as she is bonded to hers, and my daughter is bonded to me. None of us are perfect mothers or daughters, but the one thing that is understood is that NOTHING can come between our love for on another.

With that said, I think many mother daughter relationships lack trust. Unfortunately, many women seem to lose common sense when it comes to something as simple as buying their daughters clothes. What are they thinking? Buying their children clothes that reveal their bodies, drawing attention to their butts, making them look like little "women". What does it teach a small girl when she is "dressed out" every day? It saddens me.

Disrespect for oneself is also passed down.

I homeschool my kids now, but my daughter went to school until 4th grade. What I saw in school made me angry, and sad. These young girls were already trained to be haughty, manipulating, snobby (who has what designer shirt?), and body conscious. The moms often thought that was ok, part of growing up, etc. These women actually thought their daughters were cute. The other side of it? Children who were clearly lacking love and positive influence, so that they could be children first before becoming adults.

What can we do? Make it your mission to make a change. Become a mentor to your daughter. Teach her that SHE is a Goddess, just the way she is. Explain to her why you don't buy her BRATZ, or clothes with "Cutie" written across the ass. Tell her why young girls do not wear belly free, or skirts that end right at the butt crack. Get her books about strong women, and celebrate womanhood with her. Teach her how to make good choices, and that her choices are ok even if you have different opinions.

Hear her.

I am dismayed of the stories of 6th grade girls performing oral sex at school. It is not an urban legend, but a true fact. How can this be? It happens just like the high rate of teenage pregnancies. Why would young girls like this succumb to sex? Because they are lacking self love and knowledge.

I am not sure how to eliminate this tragedy, but I am doing my part to change it, starting with my daughter, her friends, and the women in my circle. You bringing this up will hopefully touch one more women out there, who will teach one more daughter, and soon we will make this world a better place for our girls.

Bravo.

Koe Whitton-Williams said...

Mara - this is an excellent post and goddess and excellent comment. I am not a mom, you know, I'm a dad. . . This overt and subliminal predation on women and girls can only stop if, one at a time, we all change. Teach our daughters that they deserve all the respect in the world and teach our sons to give all the respect in the world. . . and maybe we can make it different.

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