Competitive? Not me!

If you had asked me how I felt about competition a week or two ago I would have shared my life-long philosophy with you. I do not believe in Competition. I believe in Cooperation. I have always believed that we would dwell in a much more peaceful, gentle world if we were united in cooperative living. I have always believed that and I looked down my nose on the competitive spirit....

Then came Bejewelled Blitz on Facebook......OMG was I delusional!

I have just discovered something really, really, really, really ugly about myself...I want to win....I need to win...I live to win.

It was a cold and windy night...hmmm...actually it probably started on a way-too-hot day in summer. I saw that my dear friend, Valerie, played this little game on Facebook with all these cute, bright jewels, sparkly explosions and cool sound effects....I thought, "why not!"

Why Not? Why not? When you ask yourself "why not?" there is a good reason "why not"! Probably several good reasons "why not".

The ugliness starts off real slow. It sneaks up on you so subtly that you have no idea what is happening. Razzles and dazzles! Little emeralds popping! Yellow diamonds exploding! The points start to add up....ta deep voice in the game itself says, "excellent"! 12,000! 24,000! 63,750! Hmmm. This is fun.

Yum, flash: I just beat Valerie's high score...what was that? A little kajizzle up my spine. Nice!

Log in the next day: Valerie has beat my score. No problem. One day, two days, third day, 112,300...new top score....I'm on top again. Nice, real nice...can feel that kajizzle up my spine...."this is a cool game," I think to myself.

Next day, log on to Facebook...."what the?" New friend Cheryl has topped both Valerie's and my score...."hmmm, easy fix" I think as I smile to myself....and I fix it....well, of course I do!

(WARNING: Please do not read on if you have a weak stomach....it gets really ugly from here)

We juggle top-dog place for a week, maybe two....the kajizzles aren't as intense as the first time...I need more....

...THEN....5:15 AM...can't sleep....what if someone has "somehow" beaten my score.....better get up and protect it! Explosions, sparkles, "exellent".....ooohhhh....bright colors, jewels...points.....Points.....POINTS....POINTS......MORE POINTS....GIVE ME......

Yes, 288,550 points....."EXCELLENT!"

Oh the kudos, Amanda likes my score (yes, even sweet Amanda is hooked)....Heidi likes my score.....Valerie asks "How did you do that?" Oh, sweet Kajizzles, not only up my spine but up my neck and spreading out over my scalp, down my arms and even down to my toes. Oh Kajizzles....I love you......

WHAT? Cheryl tops my score again....and again....WTF? A new friend.....Ann (you know who you are)...ANN tops the highest score..311,050...I think to myself, "how important is this friendship....I can delete her and get back on top....but what if she requests my friendship again.....I know, I could block her!"

Friday morning I set the alarm....the early bird gets the worm you know!

I must get back on top....I need to get back on top...... I WANT IT! GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Can't do it.....124,00.....134,000......187,00....."NO, I don't want any lunch, I am busy".....188,000....189,000......."yeah, yeah, I'll go to bed when I am done here"....202,540.....3:45 AM Saturday morning...need sleep but Ann is still way up there, Cheryl, close behind.....I am not even in the ball park.....Sunday.....my arm hurts....I think I have Bejeweeled-Blitz-Carpal-Tunnel.....my shoulder hurts.....I don't care....Someone is higher than me.....Please, don't make it so...clicking the mouse...click, click, double click, explosions, jewels, bright ugly colors, ugly little numbers....where are the big numbers....."NO, I don't want any dinner...get off my ass"......click- click...more ugly explosions, cheap little jewels...must sleep...can't sleep....must sleep.

What! Heidi can't sleep and she is gonna try and beat my score while I sleep!.....not gonna sleep.....can't lose my footing.....I need more.....GIVE ME MORE.

Monday Morning....6:30 AM......Facebook.....gotta check....did Heidi bury me in the ugly little squares and circles pretending to be jewels? Did she dump me in the tank of tacky fake explosions......can't breathe.....No....I am safe at 200,000+ but Cheryl....OMG...Cheryl.....the Bejewelled Blitz Terrorist has buried Ann.....319,050.....HELP ME.....I NEED AN INTERVENTION!

Please....please....anyone?