It's June! What the hell happened to May?
Yesterday the Guy and I took a drive to Weed, north of Mt. Shasta, for a retirement dinner. Sat with old friends who we haven't spent much time with in the last couple of years. Great drive, great company and great wine.
The mountain was glorious as usual. She's my favorite volcano because she quietly sits in her elegance and doesn't act up! Well, accept for frequent sighting of Bigfoot, Lemurians, UFO's and Aliens! No reports of lava and that's a good thing!
On the way home, I texted my son to check on how his afternoon with my dad went. Not Good. My dad took a whopper of a fall, his 4th or 5th fall in 10 days. Thankfully, John was there as well as my sister, and they got Dad up on his feet.
Dad is struggling with his grief over Mom's passing. Survivor's guilt is plaguing him, as well as, all the could-have's and should have's of losing a loved one.
Sister, The Guy and I have decided that Dad should not be alone at night (fell out of bed twice). We're taking turns hanging out with him. I think he is happy to have us there but feels uncomfortable with the idea that we are "taking care of him"! We try to reassure him that we are just spending time with him, enjoying his company during the day. We do give him a couple of hours (on the good days) to give him a little dude-time and solitude. Must be a difficult transition for the most self-reliant man I have ever known.
The shock of Mom's death is wreaking havoc on his Parkinson's. Add that to moving out of his home for the past 40 years to move closer to us makes lots of changes for an 89 year old man.
As we pack things from old house to new house, we discover bits and pieces of history. Mom kept a collection of newspaper clippings and headlines. There are 4 or 5 front sections of local newspapers from 9/11, first walk on the moon and other historical events all folded into envelopes with family news clippings.
She even saved an invitation from 1994 that I put together for one of the Lost Weekends our group of women friends used to hold annually.
Would love to be planning another Lost Weekend right now. Would love if someone else planned a Lost Weekend and I was on my way with tent, sleeping bag and 72 hour supply of adult beverages!
Well, my friends. I don't know when I will have the opportunity to sit at the keyboard again. I think of you all often and check out your blogs every chance I get.
Welcome to my life in spurts!
Yesterday the Guy and I took a drive to Weed, north of Mt. Shasta, for a retirement dinner. Sat with old friends who we haven't spent much time with in the last couple of years. Great drive, great company and great wine.
On the way home, I texted my son to check on how his afternoon with my dad went. Not Good. My dad took a whopper of a fall, his 4th or 5th fall in 10 days. Thankfully, John was there as well as my sister, and they got Dad up on his feet.
Dad is struggling with his grief over Mom's passing. Survivor's guilt is plaguing him, as well as, all the could-have's and should have's of losing a loved one.
Sister, The Guy and I have decided that Dad should not be alone at night (fell out of bed twice). We're taking turns hanging out with him. I think he is happy to have us there but feels uncomfortable with the idea that we are "taking care of him"! We try to reassure him that we are just spending time with him, enjoying his company during the day. We do give him a couple of hours (on the good days) to give him a little dude-time and solitude. Must be a difficult transition for the most self-reliant man I have ever known.
The shock of Mom's death is wreaking havoc on his Parkinson's. Add that to moving out of his home for the past 40 years to move closer to us makes lots of changes for an 89 year old man.
As we pack things from old house to new house, we discover bits and pieces of history. Mom kept a collection of newspaper clippings and headlines. There are 4 or 5 front sections of local newspapers from 9/11, first walk on the moon and other historical events all folded into envelopes with family news clippings.
She even saved an invitation from 1994 that I put together for one of the Lost Weekends our group of women friends used to hold annually.
Well, my friends. I don't know when I will have the opportunity to sit at the keyboard again. I think of you all often and check out your blogs every chance I get.
Welcome to my life in spurts!
hey, we realize you are busy and life has interrupted your smooth journey. we'll stick around. get your dad settled and everything else will fall into place. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
ReplyDeleteAnne Marie I want to live next door to you. Your understanding, your hugs and knowing that the occasional foul language coming from my house wouldn't bother you!!!!
DeleteSo glad to hear from you and wish your dad good things as he in a transitioning part of life. So glad he has you and others who hold him dear.
ReplyDeleteHe was talking about that yesterday after we left the doctor's office. He said he wonders what happens to older people who are on their own and don't have daughters who can interpret doctor-speak. I'm glad we have him and he does appreciate us and that's all good.
DeleteHi Toni - you're doing the best you can for your Dad ... and I do hope you have some happy times and remembrances... take care and all the very best - Hilary
ReplyDeleteHilary, you have no idea how many times I whisper that to myself, "I'm doing the best I can, I'm doing the best I can, I'm doing the..." Then I take a deep breath and bang my forehead on a wall!!!!
DeleteA tough transition for your father. My Dad fell a lot too as he aged. Wishing your Dad and your family all the best.
ReplyDeleteThank you. As Art Linkletter used to say, "Aging isn't for sissies!"
DeleteI like your life in spurts Toni, and I'm so happy to read a post from you! I'm sorry about your dad falling, poor man. I'm sure his adjustment is so hard on him. You are such a loving family to take care of him, ahem, I mean "spend time" with him, that's cute. :) Enjoy your summer and take care of yourself!!! Miss you! xx
ReplyDeleteFalling is so scary. I don't know what is harder on him, the fall and physical cuts and bruises or the bruising his ego takes. I hope you're enjoying the longer days and, hopefully, some sunshine.
DeleteIt's always nice to hear about your life. I enjoy everything you share. I'm sorry about your dad. It is such a difficult time for him. I wish him - and all of you - well!
ReplyDeleteVery difficult time, but we got him in to new doctor and caught a little light. Change of medications, for one and opening the door for more family to come by.
DeleteYou are at a difficult transition in life...when a parent needs help. Lots of hard changes for your dad and I wish your family the best, dealing with it all.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Yes, it is difficult (primal screaming in car doesn't seem to be as effective a release). I think as care-taking evolves, we will get better at it.
DeleteI laughed because I read the header as My Life in SPORTS. Then I began reading and thought, she's not doing sports and then slide my screen up to read it again. Oh my!
ReplyDeleteMy dad has Parkinson's and dementia, it's a horrible disease. I am going to stay with him for a week so my mom can travel to attend her granddaughters baby shower. He falls a great deal of late and it's scary for him and us. I hope it can somehow get easier for you all.
Laughing! My favorite sport right now is sleeping! I'm not so good at it but with practice...!
DeleteYes,Parkinson's is truly horrible. It's hardest, I'm sure, on men who have always prided themselves on their self-reliance and physical strength. I can tell Dad is thankful that I cut up his meat or make sandwiches for meals so that they are easier for him but is still embarrassed.
I think the three of us, Sister, Sherree and The Guy have decided it's time to bring in other family members for short periods to give Dad a change of pace and so he doesn't want to have his daughters shipped to China!
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