Hi all!
I hope your holiday season has been joyful, comfy and full of love.
The guy and I had a most wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas. Totally chill and fun.
If you're ever in the area of Corralitos, there is a really fun winery, El Vacquero. Friday nights there is live music and dancing from 6 to 9. The wine is excellent. You can bring in your own food or you can pick up some munchies at the various food trucks they have parked out front.
I am looking forward to 2024 with every bone in my body. I have seen my therapist almost weekly since November 2022. She's helped me resolve some life-long issues, a couple of family issues and helping me with a Death With Dignity plan.
A clinical trial agency contacted me to see if I would participate in another IPF trial. After all the hoops and tests my pulmonary function did not make the cut. The fibrosis is progressing. Sucks!
I think I've written about the pressure of trying to keep moving while in 9+level knee pain. I had a knee ablation which has helped a little but it's only been a month so maybe it will still improve. Hoping.
I had a dream the other night. It was weird and incredibly lucid.
The pain in my knee, back and neck is off-the-charts, fatigue is my constant companion and I get short of breath just walking to check the mail or walking down the hall to my bedroom.
In my dream, I was crawling on the floor and it seemed as if 3/4 of my soul, or conscience (or whatever you want to call the thinking-you) was out of my body and I was trying to kick my body away. I couldn't get away from my body and I was frustrated that it seemed to be clinging to me. I remember being very lucid and wanting to ditch my body so bad; angry that it wouldn't let go.
When I woke up my first thought was wondering if this dream is part of the process of dying. Processing how to move on without one's body.
I've had out-of-body experiences before. I've practiced astral projection off and on for years, but I've always known that I would be returning to my body. I've never not wanted to belong to my body.
I guess it's back to my therapist after the first of the year!!!
One step forward, two steps back.
