Irreverence Is My Superpower

Irreverence isn't my vice-of-choice, it's more a vice-by-birth. I've always been this way...Some people have an inner voice, an inner child, some inner something. I have an inner ungovernable smart-ass.

I can't seem to shake it. It's like fly paper. The harder I try to shake it off the more stuck I get and stickiness is the gateway drug to Irreverence.

Okay, to be honest, I really haven't tried to shake it. Not even on the day I got married, been married 4 times but only two husbands. Married the first guy twice..what was I thinking! 

Married the second guy twice, too, but our last ceremony was a recommittal (OMG..re-committal...boy, could I run with that one!) 

 At the ring part of the ceremony, with husband #two, when the pastor asks, "What tokens do you have to show?" My husband and I look up at each other with love in our eyes and whisper to each other, "Tokens? Tokens? We don't got to show you no stinkin' tokens!"

I just love him. For a good catholic boy he can be pretty irreverent himself!  My husband, not the pastor! 

I get in trouble because a person can be telling me something really serious when suddenly my irreverence gene shifts into gear. My dang face  betrays me! Unbeknownst to me, it breaks out in a smile. Honestly, I'm filled with compassion but the irreverence factor kicks in and takes control of facial expression and body language.

For instance, a friend of mine had their car stolen from the Quizno's sandwich's parking lot on Little Eureka Way. He locked it, but it was a really hot day, so he left the windows open!  

Seventeen irreverent (but classic) thoughts dance into my head, you know, the "two cans short of a case" kinds of ruminations. 

I mean, no one leaves a car parked on Little Eureka Way, let alone with windows down. I know it's Redding and the temperature was a 3-digit-high, but still, hit a drive-thru and keep your car! Luckily, he knows my mind cuts checks that my face immediately cashes without proper I.D.

Luckily, he's my friend and he's okay with my uncontrollable face muscles!

My mother-in-law has diverticulitis but every time she tells me about her symptoms the irreverence gene whispers things like, "Wow, that's pretty shitty!" I don't say it outloud because my MIL doesn't understand me like my friend does. 

I call the irreverent part of my personality "Bill." I imagine him in worn levi's, white t-shirt and a pack of cigarettes rolled up in one sleeve of his James-Dean t-shirt. Bill doesn't actually smoke because I would have to kick him out of the gang  and that probably wouldn't be smart.  Who would take out the trash or clean the bathrooms? None of the rest of us in my brain-gang want to be responsible for that shit....oops!. Besides, it would leave a gaping hole in my personality.

Is there a rehab for irreverent people?  Irreverence Anonymous?  "Hi, my name is Toni; I'm irreverent!" 

"Hi Toni."

I'm afraid of life without irreverence, to be quite frank. Without irreverence, I might get a case of relevance! Pertinence without impertinence, what kind of world would that be? If I lost my irreverence, people might take me serious and that's not a good creek to be up, with or without a paddle!

Besides, I don't really have a problem. I can stop being irreverent any time I want!

“Irreverence is a most necessary ingredient of religion. Not to speak of its importance in philosophy. Irreverence is the only way left to us for testing our universe.”

— Frank Herbert

Hey, It's Okay

 Amber at Airing My Laundry, One Post At A Time has been featuring a Hey, It's Okay post for quite awhile. She got the idea from an old Glamour magazine article. I think it was originally "Hey, It's Okay Tuesday" but in the world we live in lately, I believe "hey, it's okay" needs to be a daily thought, because we sure as hell have daily "hey, it's not okay" days coming out our, uh, ears. Yeah, ears will do.

So here goes:

Hey, It's Okay:

1.That my dishwasher flooded over and ruined the kitchen floor. I'm insured and I have no divisions throughout the house (except bedrooms and bathrooms) so I get new wood floors throughout! Shiny new wood from here to there!

2. That I have to live with no wood floors for who knows how long. I should be wearing socks anyway.

3. That physical therapy is almost over...it's just okay!

4. That I don't need a new dishwasher, just a valve on the inside the dishwasher needs replacing.

5. That flash flood warnings have been issued for us, it's usually only an intersection or two that floods and the rain will help the fires and clear the air of smoke.

6. That my dogs are old because so am I!

7. That lots of McDonalds ice cream machines don't work most of the time. McD's ice cream is mostly wood (cellulose) anyway! 

Thank you, Amber, for once again reminding me that it's okay!

Clutch's Coup

In the midst of political tension, not only in the U.S. but in our county, there was a bit of tension at our house. 

Shasta County has made the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, San Jose Mercury News, San Francisco Chronicle and ABC National News. We're having our own little civil war here in northern California. If you haven't read about it or heard Shasta County on the news...good for you. Insanity reigns in the northstate.

As for our little family, we had a little personal coup happen.

Meet Clutch! "Prince Clutch" if he could speak.

He is about 2 months old and knows with every little mega ounce of himself that he is the cutest pup this side of the Rockies!

Clutch is the newest addition to our oldest grandson's dogs; Sprocket & Roczen. Yes his is the household with the 10 year old drag racer, adult drag racers and mechanics of all things that go with wheels that are driven by engines, big and small.

Clutch really likes the pad that Rex and Lily share. He kept staring at me and looking back at my comfy babies as if I was going to tell them to move so Clutch could rest his pretty little self.

I didn't. 

I did toss a blanket on the floor for him. He immediately took possession of it, moving closer to Lily.  She huffed and moved herself to the bedroom.  

She may be fearful of Clutch's paws. Lily and Clutch are the same height but Clutch's paws are easily triple the size of Lily's dainty little totsies. He also has puppy-manners and Lily is a true lady with little patience for rambunctious  mini-tanks.

Precious little heavy-weight moved himself closer and closer to Rex. My Reximus Maximus Aurelius III has no problem with baby dogs, big dogs, kittens, cats or humans, but he does love his naps. 

Clutch was not in the mood for a nap. He really wanted to play. Rex really wanted to nap.

Ah, the couch! Too high for chubby puppy to climb on his own. 

What about Prince Clutch? 

It appears that pestering the two oldies tired him out, so he made himself at home on Rex's and Lily's pad and enjoyed a comfortable snooze.

Only the beginning!