Showing posts with label RESPECT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RESPECT. Show all posts

June 07, 2014

Effects of Bullying

Have you ever heard of Stress Mindset Measure (SMM) or Mood and Anxiety Symptom Questionaire (MASQ)?  Our book club is currently reading a book that discusses the dynamics of a mindset for happiness. When study results are touted, I almost always go to the source. I check out WHO designed the test or questionaire and WHY; WHAT controls were used and most importantly, were the study results quoted truthfully or did someone spin the stats to promote their own agenda.

It is 4:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning...what else is there to do?

This morning I have been surfing through articles on SMM. Very interesting. Of course, I know how debilitating stress can be, especially over the long term. Several reports discuss the effects of bullying on someone who is already in a chronic state of stress.

The reports found that bullying, especially with a person (or persons) in a personal relationship with the victim can have profound physiological and psychological effects. These effects compound the stress, critically disabling the person from implementing coping mechanisms for handling the stress.

The effects include but are not limited to social isolation, avoidance behavior, depression, insomnia,  hyper sensitivity, trust issues, impulse and anger management issues, suicide and violence. Suicide is pretty extreme but short of that there is at-risk behavior, pushing the limits without caring for your own life. Have you ever heard the expression, "If no one else cares, why should I?"

Social media is having a huge impact on ugliness. Not being face-to-face in our conversations, hiding behind avatars and screen names, seems to promote nastiness. People are not being held accountable for their behavior. How do we change bad behavior without accountability and consequences?

Reality TV also advocates appalling behavior, like the Real Housewives of Backstabbing. If you want to see loathsome actions all dressed up in pretty dresses and fancy houses, tune in! 

How do we teach young people and, for that matter, people in general, that harsh words say much more about the person spewing them than the person they are aimed at?

I was in a CVS store today picking our a Father's Day card for my husband. A young women with two small children were standing one aisle over. One of the kids appeared to be 4 or 5 years old and was trying to talk to her mom. The mom told her to "Shut Up!"  The child continued to talk but now with a little bit of stress and whine in her voice. Again, her mother's only response was to raise her voice and yell, "Shut UP!" The young child stopped talking. I went around the corner and saw the little girl, her eyes filled with tears. Can you imagine,  if that mom talks to her child like that in public, what goes on in the privacy of the home? Can you imagine, also, how that little girl will talk to her children if she becomes a mother.

Remember when Popeye would suck up his spinach through his pipe and shove Bluto up a chimney?
Remember when Might Mouse would fly in and spin the meany cat into the sunset?
Remember when Richelle E. Goodrich said, "Be nice. And if you can't do that, just don't be mean."

"If you can't make the world a better place, just don't make it worse!"

September 09, 2008

Manual For Climbing A Mountain



Paulo Coelho....don't you just love him!

In this little masterpeice he writes, "Respect your soul, don't keep repeating, "I'm going to make it. Your soul already knows that, what it needs is to use the long journey to grow, stretch along the horizon, and touch the sky!" ( I am not sure if the quote is completely accurate but you get the idea)

If you concentrate so tightly on making it you end up at the summit the very same person who started the climb......

How many times I have done this exact thing. I have been so intent on climbing the mountain.....whatever the mountain is at the time.....that I forget to look out at the view, to smell the pine and listen to the wind....feel the rock in my shoe and take the time to remove it....the journey has become lost for the sake of the summit. Then I am there, right at the top....planting that little Toni-flag in the peak and wondering what's missing.....

Have you ever committed that sin against your soul? Forsaken the journey for the destination? Can the goal ever be as sweet as it can be if you have missed the details of the climb?

...and just because the mountain is there do you have to take a linear, do-or-die path straight up to the summit or is it equally respectful to your soul to wander around the mountain, climb a tree or two, make a new path, introduce yourself to the flora and fauna and ask how their day has been?

Who knows, once you've talked to an first-growth Sequoia, a granite boulder that was traveling since the ice age and a lizard or two, maybe the summit is not as tempting and your soul just wants to walk down to the river and swim.