So Much More Than Just A Cup Of Coffee

Do you remember your first cup of coffee?  Did you ever stop to think about how many pivotal moments in your life were accompanied with a cup of hot, aromatic coffee sitting at your side?

So many of us love the smell of coffee first thing in the morning! For some it is energizing, for others it is comforting. But what happens when that robust aroma is not expected? You walk into a room in the middle of the day and bam, there it is, coffee! Where does it take you?

The smell of coffee is probably one of the first memories to take up residence in the baby-Toni brain. I find it hard to recall a morning, growing up, that coffee wasn't part of the scenario. I did not partake of the drinking of coffee, just the sniffing, until I was about  14 years old.  We were on a family vacation. We rented a 25 foot trailer and parked it north of Crescent City, California one night on our way to Oregon.  There was a large lagoon on the east side of us, as we slept that night, and the Pacific Ocean on the west side. I had never slept along side the ocean so I spent most of the night listening to the pounding surf and wondered how the water got to the lagoon and if we would be washed out to sea.

In the morning, the fog was thick and the ocean sounded angry.  Mom and Dad were sitting at the little table, warming their hands around their mugs as the steam rose above their coffee. Mom's coffee was black, no cream, no sugar. Dad's coffee; black, two sugars.  I sat there in my light grey jeans and navy blue sweatshirt, just a little shiver going on, not so much from the cold as the "BIG-ness" of the event. Ocean. Fog. Giant Sequoias. Mystical mists that detached themselves from the thick fog and floated towards our little traveling abode as if to probe the contents and determine our purpose for intruding.

Mom handed me a cup filled to the brim, coffee, cream and two sugars.  I wrapped my fingers around that cup and was warmed right down to my toes.  Sipping slowly, I felt the whole world opening up to me.  Instead of feeling like an intruder, I felt as if I belonged, probably the first time I felt like that in over 5 years, since leaving Colorado when I was 9. Not just belonged in California, but belonged on the beach that cold morning in the fog, belonged with those majestic trees. I was not an intruder, I was not an observer but I actually had a relationship with all the wildness of nature, I was in harmony with it. I wasn't afraid, and if the ocean had decided to come wash me away it would be an adventure not a battle.

Just one cup of hot coffee on a cold foggy morning on the ocean....pivotal!

Do you remember your first cup of coffee? What does that smell first thing in the morning do to you?  What pivotal moments in your life were accompanied with a hot cup of java?

Ceviche and Resolutions

Happy New Year to all.  2012, has a nice ring,  doesn't it?  My resolution for the new year is to blog more often, to blog those stories and events that I think about and to hesitate less about putting words to paper.

One, two, three....begin!

I am often asked for my recipe for Ceviche, which is raw shrimp marinated in lime and garlic. I thought I would put it down and then when asked how to make the magic I could just say, "Check it out on "musingsfrommara"! Cool idea...or not, but it will save me the time of writing it down each time I am asked!

Warning (and disclaimer):  I don't typically follow recipes and I don't measure, so everytime I cook something it is just a tiny bit different. I am going to list the ingredients and approximate amounts and you can change it up to suit your taste.  (Like the way I put it back on you if it doesn't taste as good as I've promised!)

Ingredients:
1.5 pounds of shrimp. I like to use shrimp about 1 or 1.5 inch but you can use large prawns just clean and cut them up in 1" pieces or you can use the teeny weeny cocktail type shrimp. Your call.  I find that the size I use gives you a good bite.
1 large yellow onion
1 large armenian cucumber  or seedless cucumber  (equal to about 1.5 regular cucumbers)
3 or 4 cloves of garlic
4 or 5 stalks of celery
3 or 4 serrano peppers
1 very large red bell pepper
8 limes
3 or 4 or 5 green onions with good healthy stalks
cilantro
sea salt

Not necessary but certainly suggested would be a couple of cold beers, Pacifico or Tecate, an extra lime and a little salt on a plate....for the cook and helpers!

Night before you are going to serve your ceviche (if you are using pre-cooked shrimp you can do this in the morning-of  but an all-night marination certainly adds to the scrumptiousness and makes the shrimp almost crunchy)....okay, back to night before....clean and peel shrimp, rinse well. This can take awhile if you are not used to it.  A CD of appropriate music can help prepare the mood and enlivens the task, Buena Vista Social Club or Cesaria Evoria  is right on the money. The music will travel down your finger tips, into the prawns and create magic!

Juice 6 or 7 of the limes and cover the shrimp with the juice.  Chop the garlic into tiny, tiny bits and mix in.  Refrigerate overnight.  I sometimes put mixture in a zip-lock baggie with the air all squeezed out but I like the taste better in the morning if I've used a glass or ceramic bowl....probably psychological but, hey, it's my kitchen and I do what I want!!!  Just make sure the juice covers all the shrimp.

Next day, at least 3 or 4 hours before serving get out all your ingredients and prepare your space for singing, dancing and creativity.  Chances are, you may have gone through the Pacifico, or if you had help with last night's prep  you may have shared the Tecate....Good For You!  So, this morning you will need to bring out the Long Island Ice Tea (chill your glass in the freezer, make sure the rum is good stuff  and celebrate the creativity of cooking).  Our musical accompaniment for this part of the dish demands tunes with a touch of Ole'...I prefer Gypsy Kings ....can use say "Bomboleo"?

Let the shrimp stay in the fridge will you chop the veggies. Ceviche tastes the best when it is really really really chilled!  Dice the onion, cucumber, celery, red bell pepper, green onions. Place into large bowl.  I would estimate that for the amount of shrimp about 1 1/2 cups of each veggie should be used.  I scoop all the seeds from the cucumber. Ceviche is all about the crisp of a bite so nothing mushy!

Ceviche was one of the best kept secrets of South America for, apparently, centuries!  Depending on where you are on the continent it is known as ceviche, seviche or even cebiche, but it is know as GOOD...uh, excuse me, BUENO!  MUEY BUENO!    Many consider ceviche the National Dish of Peru, suggesting that ancient indigenous people salted and marinated their fish and the Spanish introduced lemons and limes and the marriage of the two cultures created this marvelous dish. Some historians hold that ceviche's roots are in Arabia.  All I know is that in the making of Ceviche  there should be a great merriment!

When the cook celebrates life, dances and sings and toasts to God and Goddess, the partakers of the dish will be blessed with good food and life's blessings!

You are sipping that Long Island Ice Tea, aren't you?  By now you should have grasped the hand of anyone who has wandered into the kitchen and spun them around in your version of Salsa.  Your hips should be swaying to the music and every now and then arms up and feet stomping.  Kitchen Flamenco is mandatory! Wheelchair bound cooks....no excuses! Snap those fingers and spin! Ole'!

Serrano peppers....Thank You, God, for this little beauty.  I clean all the white membranes and seeds out. Did you know that peppers have been cultivated in South America (Ecuador) for over 6000 years.  Christopher Columbus encountered them in the Caribbean and took some back to Europe where most plants were kept as botanical exotics but the Monks (God bless the Monks!) experimented with the peppers and found them to be a real boost to their culinary arts!  I, personally, can't imagine a life without chili peppers. Maybe, just maybe, the poverty of the European kitchens in the middle ages was the cause of such turmoil such as witch hunts and Inquistitions.  The lack of delicious flavor will, indeed, make one cranky!

Rinse the cilantro and pull the leaves off the large stems.  I don't chop the cilantro as small as the veggies.  I kind of like the look of the wavy leaf here and there in the ceviche.  I chop about a quarter of a cup, loosely, sometimes more, sometimes less. Cilantro is definitely a "to-taste" ingredient.  I like lots, other like it not so much!

Drain the lime juice out of the shrimp. It will have a kind of milky tone to it and milky tones are not appetizing, unless you are talking about milk or vanilla ice cream.  I don't drain it in a colander though because I don't want to lose any of the little bits of garlic. Just tip the bowl and drain out what you can. Now mix it all together, veggies and shrimp mix.  Cut the last lime in half and cut a thin slice for garnishing. Juice the remaining halves of lime and add to mixture.  Add sea salt to taste, garnish with slice of lime and cilantro.  Return to fridge until serving time. Serve with a little salt dish of sea salt and invite your guests to use their fingers to salt the dish to their taste.  Fingers are essential tools to sensuous meals!

Serve as a salad, an appetizer, with chips as a salsa or on a hot day in the middle of summer serve poolside as the main dish with an ice cold beer and a shot of Patron!

Substitutes? Oh so many!  You can add roma tomatoes (remove the seeds, remember no mushy!), roasted corn is a great addition (adds color and taste!), black beans if you are looking for more protein but then you will have some moosh! An orange or yellow bell pepper for color and more crunch.  Sometimes I add a shake or two of dried red crushed peppers or will take another clove (or two) of fresh garlic and add it to mixture with veggies.  Pampered Chef has a wonderful little concoction, Buffalo Rub, and a little spritz of that can add some pizzazz!
I hope you like it!
Oh, if you're really lucky and blessed, your significant other will want to share the event with you and hang out! My husband Frank cleaned and straightened the pantry, discovered some long lost CD's  and hung out with me.

Culinary Hint:  Kissing in la Cocina adds flavor to every meal!

Satyagraha

Satyagraha?

What is satyagraha? It is a philosophy from India which means to do anything, give anything, sacrifice anything, to pursue what is right without harming another and to do this without regard for self.

Do you have the strength of character for satyagraha? I often wonder that about myself. I definitely have my values and principles and my list of things that start with,
"Well, I would never......."

But, would I? Do I?

I am a woman who has lived a blessed and gifted life. Many of the things I say I would never do, I say them because I have never been challenged by those circumstances. When you look at challenges from a distance they always seem to be constructed of black and white blocks but the closer you get to those challenges the blacks and whites fade to shades of grey.

Ghandi, a man who really introduced Satyagraha to the world at-large, a proponent of "passive resistance" and non-violence and was actually awarded a Nobel Peace prize was a great poser and coward it seems to me. He talked big in the world of men and politics but beat the women in his life. How does one live with those conflicts?

In the light of day with the world watching he taught one thing but behind closed doors he was a different person....

Nelson Mandela was, I believe, is a man who's name and face is more iconic of passive resistance and nonviolence. A man of honor. I would hope that I am more like Mr. Mandela.

I pray for the strength of authentic satyagraha and that Father/Mother/God never test me.

Spam Intervention

Dear Spam,
We seriously need to talk. If there was ever, ever, E-V-E-R, ever a need for intervention, well, let's just say I hear your desperate cry!

Please, Spam, I don't know how many more ways to tell you, but:
1.  I don't own a penis, undersized or otherwise, and I certainly do not want one.
2.  I know what my credit score is.
3.  Though my relationships are none of your business, I feel I must inform you that I am not looking for hookups so tell eHarmony, Zoosk, Match.com and all your other friends to stop bugging me. I will call them if the need arises!
4. I don't care what Bunny, Lulu or Victoria does in the privacy of her bedroom, nor do I care to share her gymnastic talents with her and her friends.
5. I do not need Carbonite. I can save my own stuff here at home.
6. I only knew 6 of my High School Classmates and I am still in touch with them. Oh yes, and my yearbooks are in the bookshelf in the back bedroom, if I want to look at them its free!

Spam, honey, please, get some help.  Get outside and get some sunshine and fresh air or climb back into your little weird shaped can of gelatinous goo. Just stay away from computers....you and keyboards....not good, honey, not good.

This Too (2) I Know To Be True!

5. I digress. This I know to be true!

Yes, I have a way of digressing. Two of my granddaughters have noticed the randomness of life and will periodically state: "Random!" and then say what has just randomly come into their thoughts. They, also, often look at each other after I have said something and smile and say "Random!"

I believe that in my case calling out "Tangent" might be more accurate! There are several definitions of tangent. Tangent is an adjective and a noun, it is geometry, trigonometry and idiom!
Now you might say that when I digress my actions are that of the idiom-tangent according to Dictionary.com.: "off on/at a tangent, digressing suddenly from one course of action or thought and turning to another."

I would disagree! I think my digressions are more closely associated with the Geometric definition: "touching at a single point."

I can totally wipe out all connections to the trigonometry definitions: "the ratio of the side opposite a given angle to the side adjacent to the angle" or "a trigonometric function equal to the ratio of the ordinate of the end point of the arc to the abscissa of this end point, the origin being at the center of the circle on which..." okay, okay, you get it, right? My digressions are clearly free of ratio, abscissa and ordinate, though "end point" does relate...somehow....maybe.....

You see, my digressions are "connected" at some point. Like when I am telling a story and mention that it started on Tuesday and then realize that it probably wasn't Tuesday because on Tuesday I had coffee with my sister-in-law and then went to the library and a quick run to Shopko for some soda and hair dye because in this economy I am cutting down on my trips to see Valerie and get my hair done which has caused me to have a section of a neon shade of red close to my scalp because in Hairdresser-ese "warm" does not mean warm and cuddly, it means red!

See! Connected. Nothing shiny that grabbed my attention just connection, connection, connection.

Did I ever tell you how much I enjoyed diagramming sentences when I was a kid in school?

I know, I know, you are thinking to yourself, "She's done it now, that is totally random!" If that is your thinking, then you are totally wrong! You see, Tangents, geometrically speaking, are connected at points.

The Tuesday-sentence above had many connections which reminds me of diagrammed sentences and how much joy they brought me creating those little sideways trees on my lined paper. That makes me happy!

So, I digress. But not in the "attention deficit...squirrel" kind of way. Nope. Though I am feeling a strong allure to look up the definitions of abstract and pulchritude...

So, as long as we are speaking of wandering since the definition of "digress" is not just about wandering off the subject or point in speech or written topic but it also suggests to wander from one's path or main direction.
Yes, this is a more archaic meaning of the word but this part of the definition sings to me. Nothing I like more than to wander from the main path.

Driving on the main highway and an enticing side road invites you to slow down and discover new things. Do you stay the course or do you digress?

I digress. This I know to be true.

6. Happy is a choice we make for our own life. this I know to be true.
It is not my job, or your job or God's job to make someone happy.
If you spend your time trying to make someone else's life happy, you are assuming responsibility that is not yours. It is also not your business.

Now if you would like to make someone smile, Great! That would be very nice of you, but to dedicate yourself to making that other person always smile is a waste of your life and a waste of theirs.

Helping a person to learn to smile on their own would be a much better use of your time as long as its not the only thing you use your time for.

Also, it is not someone else's job to make you happy! If you think your happiness depends on someone else, well, get used to being sad or a whiny, demanding manipulator.

Being happy is a choice we make, this I know to be true.

These Things I Know To Be True

The blogging world that I frequent has been presenting blogs about "things" or "Truths" we know for sure.  Most are captioned "10 things I know to be true."

I want to play along but I think I am going to do this in series! There is the Time involved and mix in a little humiliation because, quite frankly, I am not really sure I know 10 things for sure!

Socrates said "an unexamined life is not worth living"?  I swear, my life is nothing if not self-examined and over-self-examined, but I have never counted or made a list of "Truths According to Toni" or entitled a journal, "Toni's Universal Truths!" Though I confess that my ego and I are quite tickled at the idea of a little leather tome with just such a title etched in gold leaf on itselegant little spine!  I would publish it in a New-York-minute if I wasn't so sure that the magnus opus of my life would just sit unsold and un-dusted in a clearance book store at the far side of some factory outlet mall.

Maybe I could talk my friend Brooke into placing it into her library at school and conduct a "token" check-out once a month for the sake of my image to my descendants! (Does one's ego burn up in the cremation process or will it linger about for a century or two still seeking external validation?)

Toni's Universal Truths: These things I know to be true.


1.  There is a God.
Frank and I were driving through the mountains last weekend listening to a CD from his repository of inspiring presentations. (digression:  (which will be one of the universal truths for me but don't know where on the list) We always take talk-CD's for inspiration, yellow pad and pen for notes, soda on ice to stay hydrated and a loaf of good bread, grapes, cheese and maybe little chipotle chicken strips to keep the growling tummies from interferring with discussions)...so, anyway...
Frank and I, still driving and listening, when the speaker reminded us of the cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin's comment during his flight through space, "I don't see any god up here...".  I pushed the button to stop the CD and looked at Frank. He looked at me. Both of us,  profoundly saddened by such a statement and the poverty of spirit!

Neither of us can imagine, floating in space, thousands of miles above the earth, surrounded by the dark and stars and wonder...how could one NOT see God!!!

Our old friend, Pastor Jim Ledbetter, once told me if you don't believe in God there is nothing anyone can show you that will make you believe but if you believe in God, everything you see is proof that God is real. I truly see the hand of God in almost everything I see.

What is real? Definition: "real, noun, realm of actual or practical experience as opposed to theoretical, abstract or idealized realm."  Do I believe that somewhere there is a throne in heaven and a male-being with a long white beard is sitting there?  No, absolutely not, but have I had actual and practical experience with God, hell yeah!  Okay, maybe I could have said that better, but I KNOW and BELIEVE with everything in me that a Universal Spirit of unimagined intelligence and passion exists.
There is a God. This much I know to be true.

2. There are Universal Moral Truths.
Truth is not something that should be voted on nor should moral laws.  While some things or notions can be declared to be the truth my majority of voters or critical mass or 100th-Monkey-thinking there are some things that are flat out not open for interpretation or relevence.

I feel my whole body slipping back in time now, being drawn back to Ethics class in college (ah, those were the days, oops, digression! ).  Ethics: Critical Thinking? Just Wars? Theory of Value? Morality? Yes, that's it, Morality?  Are there universal laws ruling morality? I say, again, Hell yeah!

Swept back in time, I sit in the classroom, the heavy, emotional, discussion is about defining morality. How do we define what is moral and what is not? Majority of the students were, apparently, die hard believers in the values of democracy. Opinion was majority rules on what is right and what is wrong?  "Is prostitution moral?" "Is rape moral?" Popular opinion in the classroom that evening: What does the majority think?  Well, excuse me, who is the majority in any given situation?  In a world of 200 sailors, home from years at sea and a village of 20 women and children what do you think the majority is going to vote for?

I tried to explain to class that there has to be a universal moral truth that surpasses democratic principles of voting and majority rules.

In a skilled nursing facility you will usually find a demographic ratio of 30 percent (give or take) Medicare, 60 percent Private Pay and, hopefully (bottom-line-ese)  not more than 10% Medicaid/MediCal/Welfare patients. In such an environment the Majority of residents would be paying privately or through insurance.  If a vote is taken as to who's call bell should be answered first, the majority might suggest that money talks and money provides privilege.  The residents paying their way should get first call (according to last Wednesday;'s vote) but what if the private pay resident just wants someone to fluff a pillow for them or hand them a phone or their knitting and the resident in the non-out-of-pocket-minority of voters is in desperate need of assistance to the bathroom?  Morally, who should be served first?

Lets say you desire to get out and dance a little, drink a little, score a little and your dependent child is hungry, dirty, sleepy, or just wants you to hold them?  Is there a universal moral answer to this dilemma?

There exists Universal Moral Truths. This much I know to be true.

3. If there is a Heaven it will have Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia in unlimited supplies. This much I know to be true.

4.The spoken and written language is inadequate when it comes to true communication.

Love cannot be described in "real world" terms.  When an expectant mother feels that first stir of movement in her womb, an emotion that has been developing (good choice of words, huh?) with the baby reaches a level of intensity that threatens to sweep mother away.  How can one describe the intensity of emotion with the mere word "LOVE!"
I love lasagna! I love autumn! I love homemade clam chowder in a sour dough bread bowl!  Okay, the word love kind of works there. But I LOVE Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia just falls short. Doesn't quite tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
How can I use that tiny word to pronounce the depth of emotion when holding my husband in my arms in the wee hours of the morning, or when he is teaching one of our granddaughters about clouds or photography?
When I witness a mother giggling with her daughter or a father smiling at his young son as they throw a softball back and forth? LOVE falls short, way too short.
The profound emotion that surges from your heart the very moment your newborn baby utters her first sounds? Can this emotion be described in words?
The consummate grief one feels at the loss of a loved one? Can you tell me in words just how much this hurts?
Psalm 46:10 states (more or less, I am not that good with Aramaic to know the original statement): "Be still and know that I am God."
"Knowing" is very much a way of being still, being passive and letting the truth come to you, allowing the knowing to fill you up.  Communication is only part spoken or written word. Communication is about communion.
The spoken and written language is inadequate when it comes to true communication. This much I know to be true.

to be continued:

Seal Talk

‎"Go get the ball!"
"No, you get it""
"No, YOU get it!"
"SOMEBODY! Get the ball!"

Meeting My Younger Self: Part II

A year ago, I stumbled on to this little writing exercise on a couple of writer's blogs. I love writing and examining life so I jumped right on it. Revisiting my blog I thought I would do this exercise again (is that against the rules, were there any rules?)

This time,I would go back to have a long talk with my 10 year old self; The following are the questions and answers.

Would your younger self (YYS) recognize you when you first meet?

I would hope that my younger self would recognize me intuitively, but she would definitely see a family resemblance. The 10 year old me was incredibly open and naive, she would believe me when I introduced myself.

Would YYS be surprised to discover what you are doing for work?

No. I've always loved art and writing and children. Though, little Toni would probably be a little disappointed that I hadn't flown through Outer Space or won a Noble Peace Prize or dug up any dinosaur bones in Montana, and that I didn't own a herd of horses.

What piece of fashion advice would you give YYS?

Fashion advice! Really? I think I would tell her to believe in herself and never let fashion define her. I would tell her that the larger world of Fashion is about making women feel bad about being natural and comfortable with themselves. I would tell her to ignore the pictures of celebrities in magazines, they are manipulated images that have turned women into fiction.

"Do as you always do, little Toni. Brush your hair every day, wash your face and brush your teeth and let the You on the inside shine through. Don't invest in all those Raider's t-shirts because in 1972 Al Davis is going to rewrite the general partnership papers for the team and award himself almost complete control and he is going to single-handedly drive our Raiders into the ground. Stick with the Broncos or take a good look at the Steelers. Invest in Loreal!!!

What do you think YYS is most going to want to know?

I am trying to remember what 10 year old me really wanted to know the most. Will life in California be as good as it was in Colorado? I would assure her that life is good but she would, indeed, miss family as much as she thought she would. I would tell her that cousins and grandparents are one of life's greatest blessings, don't let them slip away.

Don't let anyone or anything, but mostly, any one (Anyone, are you listening, little Toni,) Don't let ANYONE stand between you and your family! Write those letters, send them yourself. Make telephone calls and pay the consequences for in the long run you will be blessed. Don't lose track of your cousins. They help you remember where you are from, they help ground you and remind you that you belong.

I would tell her that the drawing of her dream home was fantastic and the ugly comments made about her white picket fence and yellow curtains in the window were not about her drawing and dreams, they were not about her. Don't put your pencils and chalk away, little Toni. Don't let ugliness and resentment affect your life.

Of utmost importance, I would tell her that under no circumstances must she ever, ever, ever go anywhere with her dad's sister. "Keep your eye out for her around your sister and the other cousins, too." I would tell her that when that aunt has a baby girl try to convince everyone, everywhere that the baby needs to live with us, or anyone, other than her crazy-ass mother. (though I wouldn't say "crazy-ass" to little Toni...well, maybe..no, no I wouldn't).

What is something that you probably wouldn’t tell YYS?

I would not tell her about deaths or divorces, I would not tell her about broken hearts except that when her heart gets broken she will come back stronger and braver. That she will eventually find the love of her life. "Don't let the moments of true happiness and bliss pass by unnoticed, Little Toni. Close your eyes and commit those moments to memory. Definitely, remember the smells because when those scents flutter by in the future you will immediately be transported back to those wonderful moments."

What do you think will most surprise YYS about you?

That is a hard question. If she was older, she might be surprised that I outlived my grandmother, but she doesn't know yet that Grandma died, it will still be 4 years before Grandma Rose closed her eyes and didn't open them again.

Maybe what would surprise her the most is that I have learned to stand up for myself and protect myself. Maybe she will be surprised that it took me so long.

At this point in your life, would YYS like to run into “you” from the future?
NO, I don't think so. I look forward to the surprises, the aha's. I don't want to know about the losses.  The future me could leave me a note under my pillow though and tell me if my knee ever gets fixed!!!

What about you? What age YOU would you visit? What would you say? What would you take back?

A Character, Better to Lose Than To Find

Have you ever met someone who was just so shallow that you felt sorry for him?

My husband works with just such a boy. I'll call him Boy-Wonder, not because he reminds me of Batman's sidekick, Robin, but because at his age, it's a wonder he's not more of a man than a spoiled adolescent.

This boy is probably late 20', maybe early 30's.  He must be very wounded and that is sad, to start out life under the ladder, having to struggle and climb just to get to break even. 

Customers have often complained to my husband that this boy talks down to them.  One customer in particular, a professional photographer, won't even go in the store any more because of the condescending attitude of this boy. 

The store my husband works for is very well known for the quality of their photo processing. That has truly been their claim to fame. The BEST, absolute best quality photos come out of their lab. A major part of that has been the expertise and dedication of one employee, a young woman who had worked in that lab for the past 16 years. Last month, this woman passed away in her sleep. 

Everyone was devastated. My husband was paralyzed with shock when I told him about the phone message his boss had left on our phone. She was so young, just turned 50. A vibrant, healthy person, gone.  

Every employee in the store was in a state of bewilderment. How could she be gone. She was there, every morning when every body else arrived. Many of the other employees didn't know of a time when she wasn't there when they came to the store.  She was their friend. She was a vital part of the store....a VITAL part of the store.

The store hadn't been open two hours, all the employees standing in a haze of shock, when Boy-Wonder walked up to my husband and another employee and said, "Hate to sound morbid but this really gives us the opportunity to hire someone new for the lab!"

My husband simply walked away.  "Is this vomit or disgust rising up my throat?" he was thinking.  Probably a little of both, my love.

What happens in a person's life that corrupts the soul so much?  How does one become so shallow that life and the loss of life means so little?  What happened to you, Boy-Wonder?

Magical Realism

One of my favorite authors, Sarah Addison Allen. In her own words, her books are all about magical realism. My thought is, of course they are, what other can of realism is there?

Her characters are all quirky, magical and sometimes not even human. A psychic apple tree, books, a lucky red sweater!  I love every word and every sentence, but most importantly, I have absolutely no trouble believing it all!

Haven't you ever had a book jump out at you while walking through the aisles of the local library or Barnes and Noble? Ever been stuck in a major dilemma, wondering what to do, asking Source a question and listing your alternatives over and over in your head; then you turn on the television, radio or just walk into a room of strangers and hear the exact words or phrase you needed to resolve the problem?


Life is magical. Anyone who says it's not is living in a dark and dreary dream.

Liv, one of my most magical friends would say that life is numinous. She might reach up first, holding her hands about a half inch from her curly salt and pepper locks at her temples and tweak her amygdala's forward (funny how they always need a little adjustment, amygdala, not locks!). If you take a picture of her she often has various globes floating about her, or a wavy aura. Word to the wise, if Livvie points at you, duck!

Mitch, another mystical friend exuded magic. While escaping from communist Yugoslavia, Alchemy followed and obeyed his every thought.  The full moon in the sky was like a spot light on him, pointing him out to border guards. He turned moonlight into cloud cover. When the darkness proved too much he called in the occasional lightening to illuminate the trail and thunder to cover up the noise of scrambling through the underbrush.  He escaped the walls of his prison and found that he even had more freedom than the Nazi guards.  He believed in magic and freedom of spirit, the guards believed in restrictions and restraints.

My granddaughter, before she believed in the solid world, passed her fingers sideways through my nose. She giggled and said, "Nana, when you are asleep, I can wave my fingers through your nose!"  I wasn't asleep, and I felt those little fingers pass through me like ticklish stirrings of air. It was remarkable.

Mary, another one of my magical friends (Happy Birthday, Mary) can read your mind, can find a missing person or your keys by just reaching into the ethers.

Are Liv, Mitch, Jocilyn or Mary more magical than you? Of course not, they just believe in living life to the fullest. They don't believe in limitations. They know in the very deepest part of their souls that everything and anything is possible and they aren't afraid to dip into the possibilities.

Roll your sleeves up, friends. Take a deep breath, slip that cloak of limitations off your shoulders and make some magic!

A Really Good Man

The past several weeks I have been searching for an article published in a Reader's Digest Magazine sometime in the mid-to-late 40's.  Now I haven't found the article but that hardly means that the search has been unsuccessful.  Often, my research projects lead me down paths of numinous wonder!  This has been one of those times.

When I was a youngster (literally I was a Young-ster as my maiden name was Young)...I digress, when I was a kid and that petite Reader's Digest arrived in the mail in its tight brown wrapper my heart did a little happy dance!  Behind The Lines! Life In These United States and my personal favorites: Toward More Picturesque Speech and Quotable Quotes!


Strange to be going through the archives of a magazine, glimpsing our world in the 40's, a world being encouraged to hate, to be afraid, yet a world encouraged to have faith, to have hope.  Political Correctness was unheard of, apparently.  Alas, even with the "not so nice" verbage and philosophy, I still love the magazine and love the trails it leads me down, the treasures it exposes.

One of the monthly offerings was a short personal commentary of someone's "Most Unforgettable Character."  Lovely pieces describing personalities and characters of people who had touched one's life.

I am inspired to share a couple of my own Most Unforgettable Characters.  First character, my husband. Frank. A man I love, admire and trust, not because he is my husband but because he is, truly, a good man. When I use the word Character, it describes Frank in its fullest definition. He is a man OF character and he IS a character.

He was recently interviewed on a radio show about people who are passionate and purpose directed.  What are his passions?...Hmm, thanks for asking!

Frank is passionate about all things sky, by that I mean he loves weather, clouds, astronomy, birds, flying, hang gliding, kites, etc.  He also loves family, children, travel, discovery. He lives to be outside, and has spent the first two weeks of Daylight Savings Time, every October that I've known him, complaining about what a waste "darkness" is. How can he blow leaves on the driveway or clean rain gutters in the dark?

He has a work ethic that has no end. If I had my own company I would want a dozen Frank's working for me. He goes to work early, stays late and works 7 days a week if that's what it takes to get the job done. He doesn't stop at getting the job done but always goes beyond. In fact, he has been working 7days a week until about three weeks ago when his boss finally told him he could take Wednesday's off!

He works at Crown Camera in Redding, California.  He has worked there for over 22 years. Photography is another one of his passions but like everything about Frank, there is a back story to the passion.

When he was a young boy someone gave him an old camera. He experimented with picture taking, the desert, some old cars, odds and ends. In high school he took photography and joined the photo club. He enjoyed the creativity and processes.  Not a passion yet, but an interest, something fun to do in the few moments of spare time that he had. Frank had very few "spare moments". From the time he was 12 he was working. The oldest of 10 kids, he helped run the family business after school and in the summer, eventually taking over the running of it while his father worked a second job.  Frank has basically worked full time since the age of 12.

Shortly after his 18th birthday, his father died of complications from open heart surgery. Frank gathered all the photos he could find of his dad.  He wanted to make sure there were copies for everyone. It was vital to him that his little brothers and sisters have pictures of Frank Sr., he wanted his dad remembered. What if the little kids couldn't remember Dad's smile or his wavy black hair?

When Frank went back to the photo lab to pick up the precious pictures his heart was crushed and a passion was born. The lab had lost all the photos. No copies were made, no originals to be given back. No photos of his father to keep the memory alive in his nine brothers and sisters!

That was the day when Frank realized how truly vital photography is. Nothing is more important to most of us than family. Recording family memories, reminders of times shared with those we love, images of those familiar faces, smiles and even frowns became a priority in Frank's life.

Why is he successful at Crown Camera? Because he believes in photography and he believes in people. He knows that it is different for each person who walks in the swinging door on Market Street. He wants to help you record your history, your passions, your gardens, your kids, your grandparents...your dads!

If you have met my husband, in the store or out, you know that he is all about getting those pictures and printing them. I often wonder why I don't hear him whisper in his dreams at night, "...get those pictures off your hard drive and print them!..."  He knows the pain of lost images, he doesn't want you to lose your connection with the past and lost loved ones.

Frank is passionate about teaching people to take the best pictures you can! He is passionate about matching you with a camera or equipment that you will be comfortable with and that you will use.  He could sell you a camera with all the bells and whistles but unless you have the experience and expertise, he never would. He wants you to use your camera. A camera sitting on the shelf gathering dust because you are afraid of it is not what he is about.

Our phone often rings at odd hours of the day, from sun up to awesome sun downs! "Frank! How do I capture this sunset?" "Frank, there are too many shadows, what should I do?" He loves those calls, because when he hangs up he knows that you are going to be so happy with your photo that you will take more.

He takes people out on the river trail or sits at our kitchen table to help them learn their camera, their new lens or just learn about composition.  Ever the teacher, Frank is definitely in his element helping others be the best they can be or doing the best they can.

What else about my Frank? He is just as passionate about having fun and he is also passionate about God.  He is one of the most spiritual men I have ever met.  Not a man who preaches his religion to others, or judges others because of their beliefs, but a man who nurtures a personal relationship with God, every day.

There is a Perpetual Adoration room at our church, a part of the church to sit, quietly with Christ through the Eucharist.  It is manned 24 four hours a day, 7 days a week. Frank has attended Adoration every Saturday morning at 1:00 a.m.  for a quiet hour of prayer and has been for about 10 years. It is the rare Saturday that he is not there. He also sits in prayer and adoration on Monday's at 6 p.m. and at 1 a.m. one Friday morning  a month for the Knights of Columbus.  He is a Eucharistic Minister and has often conducted communion services for shit-ins and taken Communion to nursing home residents. Frank has taught Altar Servers, training them not only what to do during Mass but teaching Servers "why" they do what they do during mass, always emphasizing "reverence".

He taught RCIA classes at Our Lady of Mercy for a couple of years.  He loved sharing his faith with returning Catholics and those new to the faith.  Now one might think that Frank would have a "know-it-all" kind of attitude but nothing could be further from the truth.  He searches every day for a closer relationship with God and a deeper understanding of his faith. Often exclaiming out loud, with joy, of his newest "aha moment!"

Frank is a good man, a really good man.

Oh, at last but not least, one of my most favorite things about Frank?  He makes me feel cherished! And that, my friends, is a good thing!

Once Upon a Time: A Story

Once Upon a Time, as the story always goes, there lives a marvelously imaginative little girl. Her name is Alaina.
 

Now, Alaina is very much like you and me. She has a big sister, a cat named Monkey, 5 dogs (4 huskies and a hound) and a large aquarium full of fish. She sleeps in a bed with three pillows, a pink paisley quilt and 27 stuffed animals.  She sometimes eats cereal for breakfast but her favorite breakfast is pancakes or waffles, pass the whipped cream and strawberries please! She loves hamburgers and pizza but she really, really, really doesn’t like mustard or potatoes.  Everyone always looks at her with disbelief and wrinkles in their eyebrows when she doesn’t eat her french fries or says “No, thank you”, to servings of mashed potatoes.

Alaina has blonde hair and big brown eyes, though sometimes if you glimpse her dancing down the hallway you might think her hair is pink or shiny black or striped in shades of blue and purple. You might think she is wearing a princess ballgown but  when you look again you see that she is just wearing her pajamas.  Sometimes, if you walk into Alaina’s bedroom you might hear her stuffed animals talking to her.

You see, Alaina’s imagination is soooooo big that it fills the room and, very often, leaks into your head!
 

One hot summer afternoon, Alaina and her sister Jocilyn, decided that it was just too hot to go outside and really, they were very tired of being stuck indoors.

“I know” said Alaina, “Let’s go deep sea diving and visit the sea horses and starfish!”

“Mommy,” Jocilyn asked, “Can Alaina and I go exploring in the ocean?”

Mommy was teaching one of their husky puppies to sit and, if you know huskies, they don’t like to be taught to do anything unless it is their idea! So, mommy was a little distracted.

“Sure!” Mommy answered, holding the treat above Cooper’s head, “Just try to be back in time for dinner!”

Alaina ran into her room and swooped a deep blue cover from her blanket chest.  It was so soft and had long fringy things on the edges.  Running back to the dining room, she motioned for Jocilyn to sit on the cool tile floor and Alaina sat down beside her, much like Little Miss Muffet’s friend the spider.

Sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce, the girls spread the blanket over the top of them.

“Ooooooh,” said Alaina, “I like it down here in the ocean!”

“Look at those shells!” exclaimed Jocilyn. “Hey, there is a hermit crab living in that one!”

“Jocilyn!, Jocilyn!” shouted Alaina, “Look at that octopus, they really do have eight legs!  How do they dance with so many legs?”

Sponges here and there on the ocean bottom, moved so very slowly and tiny little schools of orange and yellow and sparkling blue fish darted in and out of swaying plants.

“Have you ever seen a mermaid down here?” her sister asked Alaina.

“Of course, I have! They always seem to know when I visit! Here comes one now.”  Alaina said, as she pointed to the west.

It was hard to see the mermaid at first because the scales on her tail were the same color as the ocean, sea green and aqua blue. As she came closer her tale became very shiny.

The mermaid nodded her head and greeted them, “Hello, Girls! Have you come for a tour?”

Alaina smiled and introduced her sister to the beautiful sea creature.

“Glad to make your acquaintance, Jocilyn!” she said. “Come, follow me!” She took hold of each of the girls hands and together they continued to swim.

A giant blue shadow floated above them. Ah, a whale on its way to Alaska!

Balloons with long legs floated by…”Jocilyn, look, jelly fish!”

They saw bright red star fish with many, many, many arms. They saw purple starfish with just 5 arms.

“Here come the seahorses!”

“Oh my,” sighed Jocilyn, "I just love seahorses."

There was a tall forest of seaweed. “This is kelp,” said the mermaid.  They kicked their legs and made their way through the long flat leaves.

The mermaid smiled really big and squeezed their hands, “Look",she said, "Here comes a very good friend of mine!”

An immense turtle was swimming towards them. If turtles can smile, I do believe this one was smiling.

“Jocilyn, Alaina, this is …”

“We know, we know!” shouted the girls. “You are Chelonis!  You are the great seafaring turtle!”

“Nice to meet you, young ladies. Climb onto my shell, all three of you!” ‘the giant grandfatherr turtle winked at them and they continued their adventure under the waves of the deep blue ocean.

A long, long shadow started to follow them. The mermaid was looking over her shoulder and getting a little fidgety.  “I am afraid we have uninvited company,” she said.

The turtle slowly turned in the water. Everyone gasped as an enormous great white shark came into view.   “Hold on tight, girls” said Chelonis, “I think we can out run him!”

“Wait!” shouted Jocilyn, “I’ve read about sharks, I know how to make him go away!”

Jocilyn eased herself to the edge of the turtle and braced herself. The shark was swimming in circles around them. With each circle, it came closer and closer.  They could see rows and rows of scary, sharp teeth in the sharks huge mouth. It continued to circle, coming closer and closer still.

Just as the shark suddenly turned to attack, Jocilyn made a big fist and punched the menacing sharkt right in the end of its long nose! The shark winced hard and hightailed it off into the dark depths of the ocean.

“Yay” everyone shouted, “good for you, Jocilyn!”

“Girls…..Girls” Jocilyn and Alaina could hear Mommy calling them. “Time to clean up for dinner girls.”

“Bye!” said Jocilyn to her new friends
.

“Bye!” said Alaina to her new friends, “We’ll be back!”

The girls threw the blanket off of them and headed to clean up for dinner.

“Wait!” said Mommy. “You forgot to put the blanket back where you got it!”

Too late, the girls were already down the hall, talking to each other about their adventure.

Mommy picked up the blanket to fold it and put it away.

“What is this?” Mommy asked herself. The blanket was a little bit wet. When she looked down at the floor there was a long piece of seaweed, a tiny periwinkle sea shell in a couple of drops of water where the girls had been sitting.

Mommy just smiled. She knew that nothing is better than a strong imagination!