She has helped me to set limits and boundaries. She has helped me to recognize my values, to honor my values and stand up for what I believe in. She has also pointed out that while I make a concerted effort to respect and honor other people's boundaries, I have made very little effort in standing up for my own values.At times I have let people piss on my boundaries, trample my feelings and ridicule my beliefs. If I call them out and tell them that disrespect for my boundaries is unacceptable, some have immediately apologized, some have thought about it a day or two and come back to discuss it with me and some have basically kicked me in the shin. Big girl here, bruises heal.
My therapist has helped empower me to stand up for my values, myself and for those that I love. There is nothing wrong with drawing a line.
There have been people in my life whose boundaries are very tight and well guarded. Cross their lines and you better duck or run because they live life "Locked and Loaded"! Yet, they seem to have no limits at all when it comes to how they treat or talk to others.
In the past year (thank you therapy, medication and insight) I have learned to draw the line. It has been very difficult but I think I'm getting there.
"Free World. Feel What You May!" I have my values. I will stand strong to support those values. If you don't like them or respect them, that is okay. It is a free world.
The good news is I'm not jumping through any one's hoops but my own!
If I don't have exactly the same religion that you do, I'm okay with that.
If I don't have exactly the same political views as you do, I'm okay with that.
If I don't have the same values that you do, I'm okay with that.
If you are not okay with any of the above, I'm okay with that, too.
I have no boundaries!
ReplyDeleteWell, okay, maybe a couple of moats...
Moats only count as boundaries if they are stocked with alligators.
ReplyDelete