If You Were...

Have you ever asked yourself....and my guess is that you haven't....have you ever asked yourself, if you were a piece of furniture, what item would you be?

In one of HGTV's property hunting programs, a sleek, red sofa was in one of the rooms. The couple doing the hunting were seeking a home for a woman who couldn't do the search herself. I can't remember the reason she was unable to accompany them.

When their eyes spotted the sleek red leather sofa, they both "oohed" and said, "Whoa, she'll love that couch. If she were a piece of furniture, that's what she would be!"

One the "searchers" was the woman's husband and, frankly, the sofa was pretty damn sexy. The design was contemporary with a low tufted red leather back, sleek edges and wide chaise off one side. Can you imagine someone comparing you to a sleek sexy item, even if it was a sofa?

Made me wonder what kind of furniture I would be.

The first picture to pop into my head was a window seat built into a bay window on the south side of a house. Warm sun streaming in, bookshelf built into sides; the seat able to be lifted up to hide and discover whimsical and magical items and books. Cushioned seat, lots of pillows, well-padded, comfy.

I realized I was visualizing a design element of a building. Thinking "Home Goods" and "Stickley" I returned to pieces of furniture!


I would be a comfy over-stuffed chair with high winged back and tall, well-rounded arms for snuggling into. I know in my heart that I would not be a single color nor would I be a buffalo plaid.

The deep seat cushion would be a bright purple, turquoise and sea green in swirls and capricious geometric shapes. The edges of the cushions would be vertical stripes in the same colors. The overstuffed wings would be covered in purple polka dot on a turquoise background, the arms in a reverse pattern with the turquoise dots of different sizes. There would be 3 pillows; one a bright orange, one a deep purple and one with stars and moons in a dark purple night sky.

I'm thinking there should be a skirt on the chair (to hide dust bunnies and books that don't fit on the two side tables. The skirt should probably be the same vertical stripes as the cushion edges; there should be some control, right?

Do I have any volunteers to be a puffy square ottoman with tufted top matching my chair cushion and the full skirting in vertical stripes though you could choose piping in the polka dot purple and turquoise textile!

Fabric? Now that is a little bit of a dilemma...let's see, cotton vs microfiber! 

Cotton is a natural fiber, it is soft and durable (sound like me) but it is not fade resistant, will wrinkle and is actually flammable (again, me!) I am already imaging some wrinkles in the cushion and a little natural wear on the arms.

Microfiber, on the other hand, is super comfy, forgiving, long-lasting and easy to clean (me!) Down side to microfiber; it is a synthetic!

I guess I'm going with cotton!

I asked my husband, "Honey,"    (you've always got to use sweet words or you won't get a response) "Honey, if I were a piece of furniture, what would I be?" He immediately got that scared, "Do-these- pants-make-my-butt-look-big trick question look on his face. I smiled and tried to look as non-threatening as I could.

Wavering just the tiniest bit, he ventured, "A rocking chair!"

"Upholstered or wood?" I asked.

"Yes!" he responded.

I think I'm okay with his answer. Let's be honest, I am not a sleek, sexy, red leather couch!!!

What piece of furniture are you? Are you a seven piece sectional with several layout options? Could you be a stately four-poster bed with a pillow-top mattress and silk canopy? Maybe you are a stained-glass lamp with gilded base and a purple-toned metal pull chain with a peacock on the chain's end.