Couch Advice

 Mabon Blessings! 

Straddling the line today, beware your footing!

The Guy and I were watching a couple of detective/mystery shows last night. It could be that I am clueless or just haven't been paying attention. I discovered how much The Guy talks to the characters. "Talks" meaning advises, berates and admonishes!

When the "good guy" warns another character to "stay here", my Guy rolls his eyes and warns Good-Guy that no one ever listens to "stay here"! If Good-Guy is instructing a child or teenager to "stay here", my guy shouts, "They're a kid, kids don't know how to "stay here"!

When Good-Guy agrees to meet under the bridge (alone) in the industrial area (or wharf) at midnight, my guy yells, "it's a set-up, geez were you born last night?" When Good-Guy gets shot, stabbed or beat-up, from across the room I hear, "Warned you, you idiot!"

Then there are the times Good-Guy ("or woman if you are one" Colin Hayes, Beautiful World) races to a warehouse where there are 17 known thugs with weapons, drugs and bad attitudes inside, (maybe a hostage or two). Good-Guy may or may not call for back-up but does he wait for back-up? Hell no, Good-Guy  races into building alone, maybe even limps into the warehouse due to injuries from the beating in the early hours under the bridge, probably bleeding from a gun shot to the shoulder or stab wound to the gut!

My Guy couch wisdom:

"Yeah, go in by your lone-self, you narcissistic fool."
"You're going to die, don't say I didn't warn you?"
"Ooh, your mama going to be soooo mad cuz you done left your brains at home...again."

Good-Guy with wire cutters and the blue-with-white-stripe-or-white-with-blue-stripe bomb about to go off in 12 seconds; building, train or bus full of people...

"Hungover huh? Should have gone home last night instead of drinking whiskey at that nasty strip joint!"

Or

"Cut the damn wire! You've read the scrip; it isn't going to blow!"

Good-Guys are not the only characters to receive couch wisdom, There is the occasional insomniac who decides that jogging in the wee hours of the day will help them clear their head...or lose it! My blog is rated PG, so I can't share with you what advice he has to say to the lone joggers, with ponytails and earbuds...

Mostly I just love it when my guy deeply sighs and wonders outloud, "Don't these fools ever watch tv?

Do you talk to your television? Know someone that does?