Award Night At School

Last night was  Honor Awards Night at 3 of our granddaughters' school. In the 6th and 7th grades there were so many awards that 7th grades awards were presented from 6-7p.m. and then 6th grade had their awards from 7-8.  Too many parents to fit in the auditorium at the same time and they have a beautiful, new auditorium that seats quite a few. So. two different programs were held.

We went to both and were very pleased to see our 6th and 7th grade granddaughters win awards.  In fact one of them won two. The things the teachers said about the students was awesome. It was a good night!

One of the math teachers told us all a story of what happened towards the end of the semester.

One day the math teacher  approached one of his students. "Hey, you are just a few points below passing. You really need to come to my after school math study this afternoon. I'll help you with some math and you can raise your grade. A couple of points and you won't fail."

"Can't" the student responded, "We're going to the movies."

The teacher went to his office. He called the student's parents. "You're son is failing math. If he comes to my math study group after school we might be able to help him get those few points he needs to pass."

"Can't" the parent responded, "We're going to the movies."

The teacher then announced to the students and families sitting in the auditorium, "Obviously, that student is not here tonight."

He congratulated the students and parents for their dedication to doing the work, getting it done.

We all applauded the students and then the parents who diligently monitor homework and reading.

My heart broke for the boy whose parents felt that the movies were more important than his education.

When you don't have someone who supports you, who does't help you believe in yourself or how important school is, it makes it so much harder the older you get. Your self esteem slowly slips away, your belief in yourself disappears.

Thank you to all you parents out there who help the kids, nurture and support them; help them feel good about themselves. Without self-esteem and self-worth, the climb to success is so much more difficult.

I am thankful for my grandchildren.
I am thankful for good teachers.
I am thankful that my children believe in their kids and push them to do their best.
I am thankful that when the kids reach a significant milestone, their parents congratulate them on a job well done.
I am thankful for this warm afternoons when I  layed on the quilt and pillows piled on the bed with Alaina, the sun shining through the open window, warming us up as we discussed life and books and songs.

Celebrities In My...

This evening I was sitting..., well, it doesn't matter where I was but one of my sage colored bath towels was hanging across from me!

I was looking at the softness of the nap when out popped different images! You know, like seeing sailing ships and alligators in clouds.

These were faces though. To be exact there was Robin Hood (profile), Daniel Boone (profile), Ward Bond (straight on) and Kung Fu Panda!

Who needs to be in Colorado, I come by it naturally!

Monday, Monday

Did the fastest, shortest weekend just fly by?

A couple of blinks and it's Monday and I have a list of TO DO's a mile long.

When people take those little polls here and there and are asked "What is your favorite day of the week?"
Does anyone ever answer MONDAY!  If they do, are they under the care of a medical professional?

Pay mortgage, pay utility bill, run by Costco, stand in pharmacy line for long, long time to be told "come back in 20 minutes", run by grocery store, quick pop into Shopko then home. Once I am home the real list starts. Was sick all last week so you can imagine my home list.

Gratitude?

I am thankful for Tuesdays.

Day 3...Still in Jammies, But Clean Jammies!

Wrapped in a quilt, in my jammies, room temperature tea on the table next to me.

Hint to those that do not know: when you have the flu, never, ever, ever drink anything that is not room temperature. It will cause stomach spasms; not fun.

I've been drinking lots of chamomile and peppermint tea and lots and lots of water. Also have been hitting the Ibuprofen but, quite frankly, I would prefer a morphine induced coma until maybe Monday or Tuesday.

Tried to watch several good movies. Love Practical Magic, dozed off and on until the end. National Treasure, dozed. Swiss Family Robinson, more dozing. Tried to read but letters keep moving around and changing sizes! My retention is nil, so bookmark is back in and the book sits on the table under the mug of tea.

Good news is I have Rex, Border Collie who jumps up on bed and snuggles up close to keep me warm when shivering starts to take over. Not so good news, Mulisha, an 11 week old Rott/something else mix. Her cup runneth over in energy and needs to be taken outside every two hours. Though, really, with all the tea and water I am drinking, I am up every two hours anyway!

Typically, if I get sick, which is almost never, I make a large pot of Menuedo, a mexican soup. Menuedo is a miracle soup; cures hangovers, head colds, hangovers, flu and hangovers!  I didn't have all the ingredients yesterday so I substituted what I could and made a pretty awesome tortilla soup last night. Closest thing I could make without hominy and tripe but thankfully I almost always have a couple of serrano chilies and a couple of yellow onions and chili powder, cumin, rosemary, sage, sea salt, pepper and lots of garlic, fresh.  Mix it in with carrots, celery, corn, potatoes and chicken. When its all cooked I take my pizza cutter to a stack of about 10 corn tortillas and drop them in the pot. Ten minutes later, yum. Kind of a south-of-the-border chicken soup.

The soup probably would have worked on curing my flu if I had a nice poblano in the fridge or freezer or even some poblano sauce in the pantry.Garlic is a natural antibiotic but chili is just a miracle and a gift from God.

Hey, the pantry! I think I still have some of the peaches from our tree that my mom-in-law canned. Okay, time to let the dogs out and the pantry is on my way back.

Peaches don't help but they are good, maybe I'll make a peach cobbler......NOT!

I am thankful for peaches and my peach tree.
I am thankful for plums and my plum trees.
I am thankful for pears and will miss my pear tree.
I am thankful for Vicks.
I am thankful for hot showers.

Yuck

Woke up night before last about 1 a.m. with a pounding headache. My stomach was on fire. Everthing hurt, even the air around me was in pain.

Spent yesterday in bed, except the trips to bathroom to get rid of jello, tea and water.  Vomiting really works those abs though.  May start a regimen of barfing 3 times a day until I can claim abs of steel!

Still pretty yucky, feel the hammer bashing my skull from the inside and all my muscles are alive and unhappy. Good news, my knee is now just one of the troops, they all hurt.

Missed my gratitude journal yesterday so need to double up today.

I am thankful for down pillows that can be scrunched up.
I am thankful for space heaters.
I am thankful for ibuprofen.
I am thankful for room temperature soup, tea and water.
I am thankful for my husband who takes good care of me.
I am thankful for something else but I can't remember what it is, so I am going back to bed.
Oh, yeah, I am thankful for sleep.

But It Isn't Even A Full Moon

Was driving on Benton headed towards Lake Redding Golf course from Court Street this afternoon. As I approached the intersection I spotted a beat up old blue pick up truck with wood sides built up and the words "oak wood" spray painted haphazardly on the wood.

The truck was stopped in the right lane and the driver was chasing a car, with his arm raised, holding on to what appeared to be a lead pipe. The car's driver stepped on the accelerator and got out of Dodge!

The guy with lead pipe ran back to the truck.

Just then the light turned green in my lanes and 4 cars in front of me moved forward but as I entered the intersection the idiot in truck cuts me off and makes a right turn in front of me. I had already been contemplating making a call to the police and report his license number but his rear license plate has been bent in half so no one can read the number!

As we make the curve at the back of the golf course, he goes past the left turn to River Park, slams on his brakes and spins a tight U-turn cutting off a car headed west on Benton and the person making the left turn from our lane. He makes a right turn in front of the woman in the left turn lane and looks at both of us in a menacing, ugly way. He peels out, up the hill.

I continued to drive up Market to McD's to get a soda.  Turned around and headed back down Market and back to Benton. As I drive up to the side of the golf course, across the street from the church there are 3 RPD cars parked along side the golf course. A fourth police car drives up. Going to watch the news tonight. Hopefully the incident was just a couple of guys from Orland or Stockton, driving through town.

But, if you're driving through the streets of Redding and you spy an old blue pickup with wood sides that say "oak wood," turn around, drives fast in opposite direction. If you're walking, hide behind the closest bush. And either way, if you have the Green Lantern's number programmed into your cell, call it! That guy be scarey!

Gratitude For The Day

I am thankful for another beautiful sunny day in the middle of January.
I am thankful for Frances and her invite to watch the sunset at Whiskeytown Lake yesterday.
I am thankful for Whiskeytown Lake and all the wonderfulness it has provided over the years.
I am thankful that I don't know the idiot in the blue truck.
I am thankful that I don't know anyone like the guy in the blue truck.

A Sack Of Potatoes

One of my sister-in-laws posted a picture of me on Facebook yesterday for my birthday. It was a picture from the past, in the early days of my relationship with her brother.

Oh, what days those were. He was a hang glider pilot and a crazy-ass pilot. While the other guys and gals he flew with had big Cadillac style gliders, he had an aerobatic glider. He could take quick, tight turns and rise above them all in seconds while they had to perform slow wide cumbersome turns, so wide sometimes they would lose the thermal.  My charming suitor could throw 3 loops on his way down to the landing strip and the pilots already on the ground would grimace or cuss and swear but they always ran out to greet him upon landing. Ready to share the excitement of the moment and the day's flights.

 
He also raced sailboats at Whiskeytown Lake. Man did he
look nice, tanned gleaming chest and back aboard the old San Juan 24.
He was good, too.  And strong and smart and witty, with just the tiniest bit of arrogance, perceptible only to strangers. It disappeared once you really got to know him.

We skied, water and snow. Spent a week at Mammoth Mountain slopes right after the big earthquake scare and practically had the whole range of slopes to ourselves. Off the lift, ski down and ski right up to the next lift and sit for the ride up.

It was fantastic. My sweetie hurt his knee at the end of the day on Wednesday and sat in the lodge with ice and a good book while I skied my little heart out for the next two days.  I sometimes tease him about that today.  I warned him. It was the last jam of the day and he said he was headed to the moguls one last time. I said, (now imagine me clearing my voice with that know-it-all wisdom of a distinguished professor of philosphy), "Frank" (that's his name) "Frank, I don't think that's a good idea, its been a long day and you're tired, save the moguls for the morning!"   Big mistake! BIG mistake. Half way through his cants, Bamm! Oh, I mean, Biff! Twisted knee. He had some serious SDS (snow deprivation syndrome) for the rest of the trip. He did enjoy the hot tub though!

We water skied with my sister and her husband as often as we could. One day out on Lake Shasta as I was cutting the wake so slick and leaned into it so steep that if I had bent an arm, my elbow would dip into the water. One time, though I cut to the right just as Doug (brother-in-law) was tightly steering the boat to the left. At the furthest angle out from the boat centrifugal force took over, my hands could no longer hold the rope and I went flying. They said I rolled on top of the water about 8 times before I actually went under. It was awesome....couldn't wait to do it again.

Frank was determined to fly Mt. Shasta. He attempted it twice. To train for it, he would sling me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and climb the mountain. I can say I have been half way up the mountain without having touched the earth.  After training, he climbed the mountain easily with a 75 hang glider on his shoulder, even in the higher elevations. Each time he got to the top the wind came up way past safe flying conditions. He would then place his glider on the snow and ride it down part way like a sled.

We hiked, we took the kids to Whiskeytown Lake every chance we could. He worked a lot of weekends but always knew he could drive out to Brandy Creek beach and find the kids swimming like fish, Doug roasting weiners and swigging a beer while Sherree and I worked on our future wrinkles and skin cancer.

We visited Vieques Island, near Puerto Rico, and went night swimming in the Bio Bay.  OMG, that was awesome. Like swimming with fairies in the water. We made water angels (like snow angels) that glowed in the dark. It was a new moon night and there were a gazillion stars in the sky and what seemed like a million stars in the water. We could see the fish creating their own luminescent trails under water. They had told us to watch out for jellyfish, but we never encountered any. I think it was because it was so magical that nothing could put a damper on the sheer joy.

Yup, that picture brought a lot of good memories forward. Camping all the way up the Oregon coast, body surfing in Puerto Rico.  Chasing Merlo's pig and horses and cows out of our back yard and garden.  Walking the labs down to the school and back. Nice. Climbing Mt. Shasta, camping in Lassen park, wandering through lava tubes and chasing ghosts in Captain Jack's Stronghold in Modoc county.

I am getting my knee in shape because I want to do more stuff like that. We still haven't camped and had Bigfoot wander into camp!

Yup, he's pretty darn sexy!

What A Day!

Birthdays. An enigmatic day at most. Some people cannot wait for their next birthday, typically these are people who are 20 or younger. Some of those people can't wait for cake, can't wait for a day that is all about them or can't wait for presents. Gotta love those presents. Other's in that group, typically the 20 year old is counting the minutes until they can get hammered... legally.


After 21, birthdays become a little ambiguous for most. Birthday 22, birthday 26, birthday 28, just another day in paradise.

Some people, typically of the female persuasion, don't like the ages beginning with "3".  It appears that biological clocks get very loud and demanding in that decade. Unless, of course, you started your family earlier or way earlier and the biological tick-tocking of someone else's clock is something we roll our eyes at while we sit folding the 4th load of laundry we did today, at 9:30 pm, because we were busy helping with homework and baths and telling Jacob to stop looking at Sally and reminding Sally that she was the one holding her finger next to Jacob's cheek repeating, "I'm not touching you!" over and over again during dinner.

Birthdays ending in "9" can be a little troublesome for some, but it is usually that year of being the something-9 that is worse than the actual day the clock ticks twelve and the birthday flips to one ending in "0". It may be that when that happens we may not "share" our age as readily or we may find that having reached a certain decade that we want to tell everyone, "Hey, I'm ____ and look at me and the good shape I'm in!" Maybe we slip away, have a couple of wrinkles pulled or chins tucked or maybe a breast or two lifted, then we "show' everyone what good shape we're in but we still don't share the number. After all, who's business is it anyway?

So yesterday was my 62nd birthday.  It was one of the best ever. Started off with some great intellectual conversation at a great artistic coffee house (though the coffee there sucks big time). I forgot to ask if they have a policy about bringing in your own thermos or sneaking in a Kicker from Dutch Bros.

Talked myself into a visit to Barnes & Noble to gift myself some words. I love words. I especially love them when bound between two covers in a sequence that teaches, amazes or entertains. Yum!  I ordered a book and bought a book.

I came home and folded a couple of loads of laundry sitting on the couch, I know, I know, I shouldn't have been folding laundry on my birthday but the mountain of towels and sheets and miscellaneous socks was bugging me... Big Time.  I carried the towels and sheets back to the linen closet but left the socks out. One never knows when rolled up socks laying on the ottoman might inspire a Sock War. I love Sock Wars, though they may threaten any sculpture in the house, so if one spontaneously breaks out in your home, you should definitely,  while army crawling through the house loaded with your sock weapons, pull susceptible pieces down and tuck them safely behind larger items.

I didn't get a sock war yesterday but I was entertained by my grandson and his fiance. I laughed so hard and so long that I am sure it took care of any of my cardio excercises for the day. I got lots of calls from people I love, lots of fun comments and wishes on my FB page and a couple of fun visitors.  A couple of good friends =)  dropped by after walking the River Trail. They said as long as they were this close they wanted to come by and give me some birthday hugs but you and I both know that they came to give me hugs and since they were so close to the trail figured they would walk "almost to the Dam and back!" Can't fool me!

My daughter-in-law and youngest granddaughter came by. Got good hugs there. More good conversation.

My husband came home. He is so handsome and joyful.  He joined my grandson and fiance and made me laugh more. I don't think I have laughed so hard, so deep, so fully in my life and believe me, I have had some pretty big laughs in my life.  I used to think that my kids were the funniest people I ever met. Sitting around the table with them is like sitting with George Carlin, Steve Martin, Margaret Cho, Anjelah Johnson, Chris Rock and Bill Cosby, Dane Cook and depending on the company and amount of adult beverages, the funny Silverman chick. While there may be a certain amount of slapstick involved, most of it is intelligent commentary on the state of the world, the house, their mother or whatever pops into their heads. But I have to tell you, they have passed on their penchant for comedy to my grandson. All I can say is OMG!

So, to get back to point about age, sorry for the short detour.

62. Sixty two. Sixty-two. Sixty 2. X=60 +2. I kind of like the sound of this number. I have legally retired. The income, while not as nice as it would have been if I continued to slave away for someone else for 3 or 7 more years, is just under the mortgage.

I believe I am going to be here for a long while. I am not moving off of 62 until my kids start to get close. Even then, if someone asks how I can be 62 and my oldest son is 55 I can always tell people that he was from my husbands first marriage!!! Only you, me and the DMV will know the truth! Well, except for my mom and believe me, she is not going to tell!

Gratitude.
I am thankful for my Birthday Dutch Bros Kicker (sorry Cheri, better late than never!)
I am thankful for humor and laughing.
I am thankful for intelligent conversation.
I am thankful for family and friends.
I am thankful for cousins east of the Mississippi and even those south of the Mason-Dixon line.
I am thankful for love, light and life.

Gratitude, January 17, 2013

I am thankful for Dr. Ng. She took my hands in her office and actually prayed for me! Do you know a doctor who will do that?

I am thankful for Dr. Dotson. He moved my knee here and there, pushed here, pulled there and told me what was happening. Gave me exercises.

I am thankful for those exercises and a doctor who trusts his patients enough to handle the truth about their own bodies.

I am thankful for my children. I love you.

I am thankful for so many many blessings in my life.

I am thankful for the things I am finding out about myself since my PTSD exploded.  I do have a backbone and I have a voice, I will use both.  I will continue to defend those weaker than me and those weaker than you.

I am thankful for sunshine and 72 degree days in the middle of winter.

I am thankful for my guardian angel, ever at my side.

What Happened and Better Still What is Happening?

Dang gum, dang gum, dang gum.

Do I feel better after sharing that? No.

Let me try it again.

Dang gum, dang gum, dag gum.

Hmm, still No!

Maybe a little louder!

DANG GUM, DANG GUM, DANG GUM.

Again, but with feeling!

DANG GUM! DANG GUM! DANG GUM!!!

In the famous words of Inigo Montoya, "You are using Bonettie's Defense against me, ah?" No wait, wrong quote.  Trying to catch Wesley up with circumstances in Princess Bride, he says, "Let me 'splain.....no, there is too much..let me sum up!"

So, let me sum up!

Been a hard year, physically and emotionally and spiritually.  Physically broken, emotionally exhausted and spiritually drained.  The only thing left is the mental and though I consider myself fairly intelligent and have a pretty impressive IQ, I would describe myself in this moment as "mentally apathetic"!

That is how I started this week. Already at one of my lowest lows, then the doors of hell opened up and crap and drama was delivered. Still here but hanging by a thread. This is the last week before my 62 birthday. I refuse to take this crap with me to my 63rd year so I want to dump it here.

So:

1. I am not a fool. Do not tell me you are going to censor my statement to protect your autonomy when you have a direct link to your page on your Facebook page, just delete my statement. No problem with that but to do it feigning some superior chivalrous motive is bullshit. Just delete the frickin' statement.  I will stop following your blog so you don't have to "restrict to invite only".  Was just trying to understand, done!

2.  I tried. You have to do it for yourself.  I will keep your things here until you get help but don't come here until you have cleaned yourself up. I hope you went where you said you were going to get the help you need. Have your sister call me when they are ready to discharge you and we will figure out where to send your stuff. I love you, honey, but you are too dangerous to yourself and those that I love. I know you have lied to us all, you tell each of us what you think we want to hear, but, please, stop lying to yourself. Honor yourself. Pick yourself up and be who I know you are capable of being. Last night was too scary for me, I don't know how to be with that kind of behavior, nor do I have the tolerance for it. In the words of your favorite aunt, "do it for you, do it for your daughters, do it for your sisters".

3.  Go home. Stay!

4. Sweetheart, please rent the shredder and get rid of that pile....or buy me a 1958 single wide and a hound dog and park it in the driveway. Love you!

5. Stop signing so many Executive Orders, you are not the King, you are a President. This government was established to control the government not the people.

6. All you needed to do was explain what was happening!  Isn't that part of your job. Got a second opinion and he explained it all and gave me exercises to help stretch and strengthen. I paid you some incredible amounts of money for a job and I expect that part of that job was to tell me what was happening with me not just tell me to "get a cane"! You might be a little old for this advice but "get a clue!"

7. Please, understand that I appreciate your right to choose and the choice you've made, in religion, in politics, in what frickin' brand of car you drive. Now back off and allow me mine. I have the right to choose and I have. God Bless you.

8. Stay away from my door.  (refer to #7, i.e. religion)

9. I loved my cute little car and now she has a little bit of your car's paint on her wheel well because of your negligence or stupidity. Do yourself a favor and walk next time.  I hope, who ever you are that you think you were seen and now your are slithering around hoping no one recognizes you. It was a big parking lot, I am sure someone saw you....they are coming to get you.

10. I have issues with authority....get over it!

So, how do I feel? Any better? No, because severe clinical depression, PTSD and constant physical pain cannot be cured by ranting and raving. It takes time to rebuild yourself, it takes time to stabilize yourself when the floor drops out from under you.

I feel vulnerable. I am scared. I am sad and I am mad. I cannot stop crying at times and don't know why. Sometimes I cry for the little girl inside of me that died so many years ago and the little girl who had to take over for her.

So, tomorrow, sometime around 2:00 I will be 62. I can retire. I can eat cake, though I think I will eat pie instead.  I will buy a beautiful bottle of Amaretto and pour a little in a pretty glass and share a toast with my handsome, understanding, solid-as-a-rock husband, who cherishes me inspite of me.(still need to get that shredder, Baby Breath)  I will probably get a call about a couple of the items above but I stand my ground. If you are mad, be mad, own it.

Tonight, after I say my prayers for all of you that I love more than life itself and all of you who need special  intentions and all of you who have asked for my prayers I will say a prayer for me. I will put it in God's hands. Thy Will Be Done....but cut me a little slack, please, I'm hurtin' here! Amen.

Oops, Missed A Day

Didn't post a gratitude list yesterday. Not that I didn't experience gratitude yesterday but I was so immersed in gratitude that I didn't have a single moment to post my 3 things (per Dr's orders).

Everyone that thinks this is the whole truth raise your hands?...yeah, that's what I thought. No takers.

To be honest, I was immersed in football. Can't help it, its in the blood.  I was born in Colorado and while not as rabid about the Broncos as the cousins that stayed in Colorado, I still like to see Denver get to the playoffs.

I sat at the edge of the chair yesterday. Honestly, the games were so exciting, and I was alone, so I actually jumped at one time or another to every chair, ottoman even the floor during that game.  Several of my cousins were at the game wrapped in many, many layers of clothing. We communicated through Facebook and texting throughout the game. Most of the communication was short and sweet or short and sour. There were "OMG's" and "WTF's,". There were lots of four letter words and statesments including 4 letter words such as "Hell-yeah!" and "F-no!"  There were heroes, villians and evil referees. Two overtimes and throbbing veins in foreheads. I was glad there wasn't anyone to see me, sitting in my red jammies screaming and yelling at the TV while trying to explain to Rex, the dog that it wasn't about him.

Then the mighty Broncos fell to an interception, a quick set-up, then Field Goal by the Ravens.  Please!
After the excitement of the game to have the winning team squeak by with a kick....just not right.  We got cheated out of screaming our brains out as some wide receiver cradles the ball in his arms and we bust blood vessels in our throats as we yell, "Get Him!"

When I was 9, I moved to California. I should say I was moved by my parents and I didn't go easy. They brought me kicking and screaming, I didn't want to leave my grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles. But, having been here for quite some time now, I have acclimated my behavior to the natives and now root for California teams too. With a quick click ("click" is purely for effect because our remotes are so darn "clickless") on to the 49er/Packers game.  Another good game. Wow, what a day of good games.

Again, I was traveling from chair to chair, ottoman to ottoman. I was in football heaven.

And then....a knock at the door....I jumped up thinking maybe someone brought beer and came to share the excitement and thrill of men crashing into each other and chasing each other. There stands my friend, my friend who knows nothing of football and doesn't understand the point and wants to talk. The urge to slam the door was almost overwhelming. I could have and I could have gotten away with it because of this stupid clinical depression I am going through. I could have called her this morning and told her I'd forgotten to take my medication. Instead, I invited her in and answered question after question about everything football.

"Why do those men wear leggings?"
"Why aren't they allowed to grab a facemask when there are handles on the masks?"
"Why is it 6 points instead of just one point?"
"Why do you like this?"
"What is that thing going up the butt of their pants?"
"Why is that guy so small when the others all seem so big?"

She is from Mexico and, of course, football to her is soccer and NFL football is for interupting!

I know the 49er's won but the last half of the game was lost to me. Was it good? Was it as good as the first half?

And now, today, what do I have? Seattle and Atlanta....I hope they both lose. Who cares about Seattle and Atlanta?  And later today, Texans vs Patriots...is this Sunday or is this hell?

So, Dr. Ng, you want my gratitude list for yesterday...let me think...

I am grateful for my cousins, even the one who called me a Cougar because I wanted to lick Colin Kaepernick's upper arm tattoo's after throwing and running and scoring so fine. gr OW l.
I am grateful that none of my cousins suffered from frostbite while at the game, even though most were probably way past their limits of alcohol.
I am grateful the 49er's won and won so good.
I am thankful for how my dad must feel this morning, knowing the 49ers beat Green Bay.
I am thankful for football even though I broke my nose playing street ball with the guys in the neighborhood when I was 14.
I am grateful for the new "talk and surf" commercial.
I am thankful that I have plans for the afternoon...oh, hey, Seattle 21, Atlanta 27....close game....maybe I'll watch just a little.

Gratitude Journal / January 10, 2013

I am thankful for Cole and Cheyenne; they saved the house from burning down.

I am thankful the house didn't burn down.

I am thankful that Frank doesn't know the house almost burned down!!!

Okay, so, it probably wasn't going to burn down but it could have been bad if they hadn't smelled it and investigated!  I couldn't smell it because I was taking the Christmas tree down and only smelled dry pine...which is pretty good and does a great job of camouflaging melting plastic!

Not Valentine's Day

I know its January 10th and most of you have taken your Christmas trees and decorations down, packed them away for next year.

Our decorations didn't go up until about the 23rd.  Notice how I say "didn't go up"" as if it was the responsibility of the tree, lights and garland to get themselves where they needed to be?

They came down today! OKAY, okay, so I'm a little late and the tree is about as crispy at ruffles with ridges!

I didn't buy any new decorations and I only decorated the living room, a 3' tree and the front door.  I have 7 large rubber containers of Christmas lights and decorations and a collection of Santa Clauses.  Unbelievably I can't get that little bit back into the containers!

Do garlands expand if the lights they had on top of them are taken out of the crate?  Do silver bells grow?  Can an old Forest Santa collect more goodies in his sack? Why doesn't this stuff fit?

Every thing packed in tight but the garland around the front door. Now it's pine garland with some grapevine hearts and heritage red bells and berries.  It goes good with the color of the house and the door is red.  Do I drive over to Shopko and purchase another rubber container or keep the garland up, and call it Valentine's Day Decoration?

More importantly, the real, accurate, authentic, bona fide, veritable purpose for this blog entry; if I keep typing will the dry pine needles trailing across the floor, carpet and entry vacuum themselves up?

The Other "F" Word

It seems to me that I have started other blog entries with elucidations regarding my husband's awesomeness. I hope it doesn't get boring to my readers (if there are any of you out there)!

Yesterday afternoon, Mr. Wonderful called me from work to let me know that his boss wanted to have him work Wednesday, his usual day off and take Tuesday off.  My husband discussed it with another employee who I call Mr. A (for Arrogant, although there are many other appropriate adjectives for the jerk).

Mr. A and my husband agreed that Tuesday would be a better day for my husband to take off. Now my sweetie is in retail so we have not had one morning since the middle of November where we have been able to just lay in bed in the morning, snuggle and make plans for the day

This morning we slept in, which means that we were both awake by 7:30.  We laid in bed and talked, switched the news on to check the weather and relished the little bit of time together. He starts to get a little romantic and his I-phone goes off; the text ring that lets him know "The Store" is calling.  Its a text from Mr. A: "Where are you?"

So, Sweetie texts him back, "Remember, working Wednesday, taking today off"

Mr. A responds: "Would have been nice to know"

My honey didn't bother to respond, knew it was just a power game. He put the I-phone down and put his  arm back around me.  Calmly, he started to check out the weather again, but I started to fume, actually I have to say I continued to fume because he constantly gets calls from the store, even if he takes a half hour lunch, he gets at least one call from the store, typically from Mr. A or a question Mr. A has buts insists someone else make the call.

So, I am angry and I tell my husband (colorfully, I might add) what a jerk Mr. A is. I also give my husband a real smart-ass response he should text back. My honey just shakes his head and says, "Don't go there. Forgiveness is the better way."  He told me that his energy was needed for taking care of me and sending energy to our kids and grand kids and for prayer.

Forgiveness. To me, it is almost another F-word when it comes to Mr. A and any others who hurt my family and loved ones.  Okay, I am going to give it a try. Forgiveness. First, I will try it out on the mailman when he is a little late on the day my grandson is expecting his paycheck, I will try to forgive the idiots poor souls who hug my bumper on the road or don't signal their turns. Next week I will attempt applying forgiveness to Mr. A!  I think its going to take a week of prayer to help me get there and a whole lot more prayer to get me to WANT to get there.

My husband is a better man than I am.....thank God.

Gratitude for Dr. Ng and my attempt to climb out of my clinical depression:
I am thankful for prayer.
I am thankful for people who pray.
I am thankful for my husband, he hugs good, he prays good and he....hmm, yeah, I am thankful for my husband.

Dr. Ng Says Journal Daily

The kids all left today. House is quiet and I miss them all.

But, I have to say there is something about a quiet house. My gratitude journal is short and sweet today.
I am thankful for afternoon naps with my Honey.
I am thankful for being able to watch football in bed with pillows and doggy and hubby.
I am thankful for left over chicken and Manhattan Bagels.
I am thankful for soft jammies, foot rubs and remote controls.
I am thankful that the kids are all home safe, and hope that Brian's plane lands safely in Tennessee.

New Year Celebration

Oh My God! What a day. January 1, 2013 may go down in history as one of my best days.

In the morning I played Spoons with pointy objects with 4 of our granddaughters and Papa, just pens but pointy all the same. We giggled and laughed and I lost but it was so much fun laughing. Those girls are just the best, funny, intelligent and so lovingly irreverent, just my kind of people. The dining room table will never be the same and for that I am happy, memories are in that table. Good, happy memories.

Everyone disappeared in the middle of the day to go watch a USC football game recorded at Nicole's and Brian's house. Papa and I snuck in a good nap!

We made a big pot of spaghetti for dinner. Everyone returned to the house for dinner. One granddaughter was still running a low grade fever so she and her mommy stayed home. But my son got off of work and brought Haley. Now 5 granddaughters, 1 grandson and his fiance, joined my kids and their spouses and we mulled around a little.

Then we started playing a game that made me laugh so hard, I almost knocked the New Year away and the old year back. If you want to share a couple of hours of incredibly joyful moments with your family get the game Loaded Questions. WARNING:. if you have given birth or are over the age of 50 wear a Depends!

These characters, my family, are truly the funniest people I know and a tad bit on the irreverent side. The adults laughed so hard that the kids were drawn into the room and hung out with us for awhile.

There is no doubt I am a blessed person in spite of clinical depression and PTSD. I am thankful for my wonderful husband, Frank. I am thankful for John, Adam & Ashley, Nicole &; Coach Brian, Cole and Cheyenne. I am thankful for Pickles, JP, Dippin Dots, Pinky Marie and the CEO. I am also thankful for Becky and Natalie even though they couldn't be there).  I am also thankful for Rex, Phe and Mulisha who fit right in with the chaos and joy.

I am also thankful for  my sister and my niece who couldn't make it, my brother and his family and all my cousins.

Lets do this again tonight!!!