December 16, 2015

"You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd..."

"You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd..."

I have "authority issues"! When anyone tells me to do something or not to do something, I have an overwhelming urge to do just the opposite!

When someone tells me I "CAN'T" do something...well, my personal anarchist whispers in my ear, "Let's Do It!"

There are a couple of activities the responsible adult in me just draws the line at. Not many, because  the responsible adult holds a very minor part of my personality. She really is a drag.

Roller skating in a buffalo herd is one thing she absolutely will not allow. Besides being head-butted into the next county, she says:
1)  We could and probably would get buffalo patty in our ball bearings and ruin our wheels.
2)  The terrain is too unpredictable and we could fall and skin our knees, elbows or break something.
3)   Wolves might mistake us for lame buffaloes and attack and eat us.

And most importantly of all:

4) Someone might see us and think we were crazy!

See, I told you she was a drag!

Now, the not grown up part of me wants to get our roller skates and find a buffalo herd. After a short meeting of the minds (get it?) we resolved that:

1)  A little shit never hurt anything.
2)  A small donation of skin to Mother Earth would be ok (especially the rough elbow and knee stuff.  Besides, we really like Superman band aids. We also have never had a cast before and it would be fun to gather signatures!
3) Wolves have gotta eat too!

And most importantly of all:

4) We will send out invitations to come watch us because sanity blows!

photo courtesy of http://travelingrainvilles.typepad.com/





18 comments:

  1. I'm all about those last two words!

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  2. What's the rest of that song? My brain is not working today.

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    1. "..but you can be happy if you're a mind too." I love Roger Miller songs.He was the original don't-worry-be-happy man!

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  3. That's one herd mentality I am all for!
    I just read the post about the tampons! That is freaking unbelievable, completely ridiculous!
    Sending lots and lots of love!!!

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    1. I hope your doing well and on the fast lane to recovery.

      Yup, freaking unbelievable!

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  4. We are kindred spirits, sister! I also have an overwhelming urge to do the opposite when someone tells me to do (or not do) something. I should have a t-shirt that says "You're not the boss of me." :)

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    Replies
    1. Are we wise, stubborn or free spirits? I'm thinking all three!

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  5. So this could be a sequel to Dances With Wolves? Titled Rollering Skating with Buffalo!

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    Replies
    1. I'm in! Want to write a chapter of two?

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  6. Then we can move on to swimming with the zen fish!

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  7. as a child I was always told YOU CAN'T.
    guess what?
    I CAN AND I WILL! so there! screw you! nyah nyah nyah!

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    Replies
    1. Independence appears to be a given in Philly! Good for you!



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  8. Yes, I can relate. Example: "Barbara, don't stand up while riding your bike and let go of the handle bars". Next stop...emergency room with broken arm! I just had to try it.

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    1. I would rather spend my life listening to "I told you so!" because there always seems to be more, "whoa, that was good!

      Better than sitting around thinking, "I wish I had...."

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  9. Girl, you got guts. Forget everything you just said, the sight of ONE buffalo might send this nervous Nelly screaming hahahaha

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