I would differ a bit... As we come to elderhood, it seems wise, to alter some of our dreams. If we once wanted to "do something," which can no longer be achieved, it seems Wise to let go of that one. Because to mess with our later time, berating ourselves or being unhappy, that we didn't do this or do that, when younger... Doing such will certainly taint our well deserved Peace of later years.
But yes, keep right on wondering, and searching, and learning, and growing our mind. Seek inside, for your true selves. "Do"! Even if we have to do it, while sitting comfortably in a chair. :-)
Just my thoughts... Thank you for sharing this link.
When I was young, I had my dreams. As I aged, I discovered some dreams were induced by culture's definition of success. I also came to crossroads, where choices needed to be made. I can most definitely say the choices I made were good ones, not counting a couple of minor poor choices :)
I still have a couple of dreams to work on in Act III of my life, but I agree with you. Keep seeking truths, however you choose to do it.
For me, the death of my dreams was depression. There seemed no way out. But reviving my dreams was a struggle. I had to first find peace and tranquility, then relax a bit because I wanted everything NOW lol...then find a way to make it all work, and keep taking action to work towards it! I think everyone has a different idea about what makes dreams possible and what makes them impossible. Food for thought is always a good thing! :)
Did you find that while reviving some of your dreams, they didn't have the same intensity? I did. I have chronic depression and PTSD, which inspires a lot of inner searching and contemplation. I discovered that some of my 'dreams' were really just that; Dreams. I really do believe in Goethe's quote "Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen."
Believing in myself, I discovered that some of my dreams were about making others believe in me. I think, for the most part, I am living my real dreams but still have some I am working on. Though I am always open to change and the possibility of new dreams!
Hi Toni :) I DID find that reviving my dreams had less intensity. But in my case, I think it's because my dreams changed a little. But I was still holding on to the old ones. I was so keen on going back to school to learn a different career skill. I was in finance and burned out terribly working for a trading firm. I thought if I learned something new, that I would change my life and meet different people...I tried, I think...maybe up to 6 times to go back to different schools and universities, and failed each time until I realized that my dreams were so different after I started to really manage the depression. I just wanted harmony at home, a loving boyfriend and lots of pets. Once I figured all that out, and trust me, that took years, eek...I worked towards that and was able to get there.
You are very right though, believing in yourself is key. When I believe in myself, I see the support I get from others, especially from Alex and it helps me to live my dreams in the present and really enjoy the moment. Oh, I'm the same, I ALWAYS have dreams I'm working on too! :) They will come and go, but the ones that truly give me joy will come true. I really do believe that! They may take a little more time, but at this point in my life, I'm willing to work harder and wait a little longer to make them come true! :)
Rain, When I read your blog, and your comments on other blogs, you never seemed like a 'Black and White' type of person to me. The world of finance and numbers is a "hard" or black and white reality.
It seems as though you are happier with the soft, gentler aspects of life. I think we find ourselves swamped in depression when we follow a road that conflicts with our inner essence. It really sounds that you are discovering the real you! That's cool!
You're right...finance DEFINITELY wasn't my cup of tea to say the least. I think that my idea of my future was "rich". I wanted money, I wanted "stuff" and I wanted security, which to me at that time, meant lots of money. It's mainly because I had no security growing up, so I went to the extreme. It wasn't worth it in the end. I don't have money or expensive stuff but happily don't want that anymore! The gentler aspects of life appeal to me so much and I'm loving them. I like how you put that! :)
I think it's very cool to discover our real self! But you know sometimes it takes a long time. It took me 45 of my years to find Alex. I never thought I'd find someone who had so much in common with me, and even at the beginning of our relationship I doubted it...because he's 20 years younger than me. But our age difference makes NO difference! I always wanted to find a relationship earlier on in life and I thought I would have to go the route of husband and children to be happy, but I think I had to go through everything I did to learn what I really wanted in life and what kind of man I wanted to be with too, what kind of lifestyle and all of that! Life is such a learning experience isn't it? :) Deep thoughts on a Saturday afternoon! :)
TONI: In regard to your comment in my blog, about liking the new-to-me 'Elderwoman' term, it does sound gentler. I agree.
Must say, that I am enjoying your comments back and forth here, as well. :-) Perhaps I should change my way of blogging. Mine has always been to read/comment, in blogs of those, who comment on my blog. As you did. But not to reply to comments made on my blog, right on my blog. Rather, to say anything needed, by private e-mail.
But I have especially enjoyed your back and forth here, with Rain!!! A real conversation! :-) Perhaps I will do both, too... Your way, reply on your blog. And also, on the blog of the person who commented, or in email when possible, which is my way.
thank you for sharing the writing of paul dear Toni ,this is profoundly authentic !
i am lazy person may be ,when it comes to my very own inner dreams specially having career and establishing myself on my own feeet this dream is still in waiting list of my life i am almost entering in my 48th year of the life and still feel like excited child who just opened eyes in the garden of life and wanted to explore each and everything around , but this is my insidious feeling. outside i am responsible mom and caring wife though love to be alone not crowed lover still taking care of my terms with all my relatives and in laws .
"i am a good supporter " these are the words of my eldest son fro me he said i am blessed with talent to encourage my family and he says if today he is somewhre in life this is only because of me . such things encourage me though but i still feel something lost.i am sure someday i will be able to reveal my true self
It is wonderful when a mother is a nurturer and supporter of her children. It is even better when her children acknowledge he solid support of them.
I think though, that our children, who have been supported and encouraged do the same for us mothers. That they encourage us in meeting our goals and let not stand in our way. Too many times, kids (even adult ones) begin to think that we mother's have no lives but to serve them.
It takes great strength for mothers to say, "No! Not today, my dear child, I have plans."
Good luck revealing your true self, though I believe we have all gotten a peek at her!!!
Yeah, I'm not entirely sure that I agree with him. He sounds like a classic Type A personality to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little like you. Hence the title of my blog. Just thought it was interesting view.
DeleteI do believe that 'all that wander are not lost!"
Yes, interesting.
ReplyDeleteI would differ a bit... As we come to elderhood, it seems wise, to alter some of our dreams. If we once wanted to "do something," which can no longer be achieved, it seems Wise to let go of that one. Because to mess with our later time, berating ourselves or being unhappy, that we didn't do this or do that, when younger... Doing such will certainly taint our well deserved Peace of later years.
But yes, keep right on wondering, and searching, and learning, and growing our mind. Seek inside, for your true selves. "Do"! Even if we have to do it, while sitting comfortably in a chair. :-)
Just my thoughts... Thank you for sharing this link.
When I was young, I had my dreams. As I aged, I discovered some dreams were induced by culture's definition of success. I also came to crossroads, where choices needed to be made. I can most definitely say the choices I made were good ones, not counting a couple of minor poor choices :)
DeleteI still have a couple of dreams to work on in Act III of my life, but I agree with you. Keep seeking truths, however you choose to do it.
For me, the death of my dreams was depression. There seemed no way out. But reviving my dreams was a struggle. I had to first find peace and tranquility, then relax a bit because I wanted everything NOW lol...then find a way to make it all work, and keep taking action to work towards it! I think everyone has a different idea about what makes dreams possible and what makes them impossible. Food for thought is always a good thing! :)
ReplyDeleteDid you find that while reviving some of your dreams, they didn't have the same intensity? I did. I have chronic depression and PTSD, which inspires a lot of inner searching and contemplation. I discovered that some of my 'dreams' were really just that; Dreams. I really do believe in Goethe's quote "Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen."
DeleteBelieving in myself, I discovered that some of my dreams were about making others believe in me. I think, for the most part, I am living my real dreams but still have some I am working on. Though I am always open to change and the possibility of new dreams!
Hi Toni :) I DID find that reviving my dreams had less intensity. But in my case, I think it's because my dreams changed a little. But I was still holding on to the old ones. I was so keen on going back to school to learn a different career skill. I was in finance and burned out terribly working for a trading firm. I thought if I learned something new, that I would change my life and meet different people...I tried, I think...maybe up to 6 times to go back to different schools and universities, and failed each time until I realized that my dreams were so different after I started to really manage the depression. I just wanted harmony at home, a loving boyfriend and lots of pets. Once I figured all that out, and trust me, that took years, eek...I worked towards that and was able to get there.
ReplyDeleteYou are very right though, believing in yourself is key. When I believe in myself, I see the support I get from others, especially from Alex and it helps me to live my dreams in the present and really enjoy the moment. Oh, I'm the same, I ALWAYS have dreams I'm working on too! :) They will come and go, but the ones that truly give me joy will come true. I really do believe that! They may take a little more time, but at this point in my life, I'm willing to work harder and wait a little longer to make them come true! :)
Rain, When I read your blog, and your comments on other blogs, you never seemed like a 'Black and White' type of person to me. The world of finance and numbers is a "hard" or black and white reality.
DeleteIt seems as though you are happier with the soft, gentler aspects of life. I think we find ourselves swamped in depression when we follow a road that conflicts with our inner essence. It really sounds that you are discovering the real you! That's cool!
You're right...finance DEFINITELY wasn't my cup of tea to say the least. I think that my idea of my future was "rich". I wanted money, I wanted "stuff" and I wanted security, which to me at that time, meant lots of money. It's mainly because I had no security growing up, so I went to the extreme. It wasn't worth it in the end. I don't have money or expensive stuff but happily don't want that anymore! The gentler aspects of life appeal to me so much and I'm loving them. I like how you put that! :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's very cool to discover our real self! But you know sometimes it takes a long time. It took me 45 of my years to find Alex. I never thought I'd find someone who had so much in common with me, and even at the beginning of our relationship I doubted it...because he's 20 years younger than me. But our age difference makes NO difference! I always wanted to find a relationship earlier on in life and I thought I would have to go the route of husband and children to be happy, but I think I had to go through everything I did to learn what I really wanted in life and what kind of man I wanted to be with too, what kind of lifestyle and all of that! Life is such a learning experience isn't it? :) Deep thoughts on a Saturday afternoon! :)
TONI: In regard to your comment in my blog, about liking the new-to-me 'Elderwoman' term, it does sound gentler. I agree.
ReplyDeleteMust say, that I am enjoying your comments back and forth here, as well. :-) Perhaps I should change my way of blogging. Mine has always been to read/comment, in blogs of those, who comment on my blog. As you did. But not to reply to comments made on my blog, right on my blog. Rather, to say anything needed, by private e-mail.
But I have especially enjoyed your back and forth here, with Rain!!! A real conversation! :-) Perhaps I will do both, too... Your way, reply on your blog.
And also, on the blog of the person who commented, or in email when possible, which is my way.
Never too old to change one's ways!!! :-)
thank you for sharing the writing of paul dear Toni ,this is profoundly authentic !
ReplyDeletei am lazy person may be ,when it comes to my very own inner dreams specially having career and establishing myself on my own feeet this dream is still in waiting list of my life i am almost entering in my 48th year of the life and still feel like excited child who just opened eyes in the garden of life and wanted to explore each and everything around , but this is my insidious feeling.
outside i am responsible mom and caring wife though love to be alone not crowed lover still taking care of my terms with all my relatives and in laws .
"i am a good supporter " these are the words of my eldest son fro me he said i am blessed with talent to encourage my family and he says if today he is somewhre in life this is only because of me .
such things encourage me though but i still feel something lost.i am sure someday i will be able to reveal my true self
It is wonderful when a mother is a nurturer and supporter of her children. It is even better when her children acknowledge he solid support of them.
DeleteI think though, that our children, who have been supported and encouraged do the same for us mothers. That they encourage us in meeting our goals and let not stand in our way. Too many times, kids (even adult ones) begin to think that we mother's have no lives but to serve them.
It takes great strength for mothers to say, "No! Not today, my dear child, I have plans."
Good luck revealing your true self, though I believe we have all gotten a peek at her!!!