February 18, 2015

Record Breaking Showers

Living with my sister is awesome. We are doing a lot of things on the fly, in fact, today we played so hard at not doing nothing (yes, I know that is a double negative...get over it). So we needed to shower quick and head out for our 'to do' list.

"I'll shower first, I'm really quick!"Slam, bam; I'm in the shower, Shampoo. Conditioner. Lather up the body for the 22 seconds that my hair is conditioning...no leg shaving on this shower because I'm lazy in my old age....I "naired" myself 3 days ago.

My "Why" factor kicked in as I was rinsing out the conditioner. Why do I rush through my showers? My husband takes 20 minute showers. He lets the hot water caress his neck and shoulder muscles. Showers to him are so much more about relaxing and soothing.  Showers are purely utilitarian
for me.

Donning my Sherlock cloak, waterproof, because it is invisible (What a beautiful wrap and such fine vinyl, Mrs. Emperor!) I begin some serious self-investigation.

Why are my showers record breaking quickies?

Am I afraid I'll miss a phone call if I'm in the water? (insert giggle) Hell, I don't answer the phone when it's in my pocket or sitting next to me at the keyboard.

Am I concerned that someone will come to the front door and I will miss them?  'Nother giggle and eye roll. I don't answer the door half the time even when I am sitting at the dining room table  and can be seen by stranger pushing new rain gutters or million dollar vacuums!

Am I preserving water? Yeah, but that certainly isn't my intention!

Epiphany! It's all about fear! Not a Er!-Er!-Er! Psycho shower scene fear but more of an ego based body image fear!

For instance...what if there is an earthquake and the house collapses on me? When the rescue team finally digs me out of the rubble there I am....an older, fluffy, naked woman!

What if a truck misses the corner and plows into my house, ripping the wall away from the shower exposing my sopping wet naked body?

Sick, huh?

Tomorrow morning I am going to take a 20 minute shower. I am going to let the hot water soothe my neck and caress my shoulders. I am going to really, really condition my hair. I am going to enjoy my my self.

I just hope the conditioner doesn't have any ill effects on my swimming suit.

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