Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a crazy thing to have.(pun intended) For years and years I had it under control. I could witness something, an action, or picture or rude gesture and react but be back to normal in a flash of a second. Since April of this yearmy PTSD has sprouted a life of its own. If I hear a mommy raising her voice to an overly-tired kid or people cutting each other off, their action seems to reach down into the core of me and the tears flow (or worse).
So, this morning, I am going to bundle up, say a prayer for strength, ask the Holy Spirit to accompany me to Raley's and go get some goodies. Maybe reward myself with a Dutch Bros coffee on the way home.
When you have PTSD you make a list of items to take with you as well as items to purchase. Items to take; Gloves to keep warm, hat to cover bedhead, debit card, oh and an umbrella. And just in case I meet a Dragon or Unicorn in the rain, I'll take an extra umbrella for them.
I am thankful today for toothpaste, cold water to drink, the little bit of sunshine shining through the clouds. I am thankful for hot showers, I am thankful for Welbutrin, though it doesn't seem to have reported in for work this morning or yesterday. If an anti-depressant calls in sick shouldn't they have a note from the doctor?
I am thankful for my pretty car, though some ass-hole hit me in one of the parking lots yesterday or the day before. Just a little light blue paint near the tire well, but still, you could have left a note? I am thankful that I wasn't in my car when the person hit my car (for me and for them).
I am thankful that the roast I am going to buy is going to be the moistest, tenderest roast in the history of mankind...Help me choose that one Holy Spirit, I mean, as long as you are going with, you could help with a little of the shopping.