December 23, 2012

No Pressure

Working hard to find a way to express my gratitude today.  Lots of things and people I am thankful for but some old habits getting in the way of expressing it.

Depression is an ugly thing. For every 3 rungs of the ladder I feel myself climb out one of those rungs snaps and I am down again.  I know, I believe, I am digging my way out but sometimes I feel like a crab in a bucket and every time I almost make it to the top and out one of those dumb-ass crabs snatches on and pulls me back in the damn bucket.  I know I am not going to stay in that bucket, too many crabs in bad moods and too much sand and salt water but it means climbing out again.

What am I thankful for today, it's another granddaughter's birthday today. She's 8 and she's cute and she is a powerhouse! I am thankful for her. I am thankful that two of my other granddaughters are making a gingerbread house. I am thankful for super soft over-sized sweaters, I am thankful that all the wrapping is done and presents are all where they need to be.

Part of me wants to write that I am thankful this is my last Christmas, I'm not sure I'm good at this game called life.  Too many people demanding how they think stuff should be, making up the rules they want me to live by, but not following their own rules.

I think I'd like to go to heaven and open up a movie drive-in up there.  The  speakers would all work because I would use Bose. Movies would be HD and you know the seats would be comfortable because its heaven.  The tub of popcorn never gets empty and you can drink all the soda you want and never have to pee just before the climax of the movie....or any other climax's....I is the drive-in!

Two days until Christmas 2012.  I bet Santa is making the reindeer go to bed early tonight.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comment Please but Play Nice!