May 02, 2013

Support Group ~ Membership Drive Press Release

Most of the television shows I watch, I pre-record. Then I can fast forward through the commercials.

I've seen enough commercials to last a a lifetime, but there are times I watch a show "from the hip"!  At those occasions I've noticed hundreds of attorneys who are jumping on the recall bandwagons. They are informing us that we or someone we know are victims and we can make some really big bucks by hiring their firm to get that money for us.

I don't see any fine print at the bottom of the screen that the lawyers and courts and the IRS will get the bulk of the money if there is a judgement in your favor nor, in even finer print, does it state that after depositions, subpoenas, court dates and extensions that you will most likely end up on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications before the goal is met. The good news is that, eventually, you may be able to file additional lawsuits against the pharmacy, pharmacist and physician for prescribing and providing you the medications mentioned above.

After some serious consideration I have decided to form a support group for many of these victims of our medical system and some of the by-products of our misguided culture.

Now, there must be thousands of victims, so the membership requirements of this support group will have to be pretty specific, my living room can only hold about 15 to 20 people.

Criteria for membership will be restricted to those poor souls who have purchased Sketchers Shape-ups which caused ankle sprains or knee injuries which led to painful replacement surgery of their Depuy Hip Replacement which, on malfunction, have caused painful shifting of their vaginal mesh (no pelvic slings, please) which again leads to painful replacement surgery or painful sex which led to the chronic use of a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) such as Celexa which has caused pulmonary hypertension or agitation and anxiety, confusion and memory problems, dizziness, coordination problems or lethargy.

We will have to deny membership if you meet all the criteria above but your use of the SSRI or continued contact with attorneys and court systems has additionally caused chronic irritability or aggressive or violent behavior, as the quarters of our meeting space are quite close. SSRI's have been known to cause nausea, depression or suicidal tendencies.  Those affected with those symptoms will not be admitted either as depression, vomit and inanimate bodies are not conducive to a pleasant and productive group meeting.

If you meet the criteria please feel free to contact your nearest mental health facility. They will have the contact information for our support group.

If you don't meet the criteria but would like to donate to this vital program contact me via email for Pay-Pal information.


  1. I notice your group would exclude me because as a male, I can't have had ll the problems listed. I'm thinking of suing you for gender discrimination. Contact me through my lawyer.
    Michael (IlikemoneyIdon't havetoearn) McDermott

  2. Addendum: Bladder sling may be substituted for vaginal mesh if you are gender-challenged!

  3. "Bladder sling?" E-e-e-ew-w-w!


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