August 26, 2013

Be Gone!

Spam! What a pain.

Most days it is filled with so much yuck, I have a strong desire to shower or at the very least, wash my hands after I have scanned it before sending it into Delete-Forever-Ville.

I haven't checked it for 3 days. Spam box runneth over; 286 bits of trash!

My eyes scanned the "who" column to insure that I don't launch something important into obscurity. One "sender" catches my eye.

"Erase Your Mortgage"  What a thought. While the hook did not tempt this fish, the message remaining unopened, I can't tell you that the idea of no mortgage didn't run away with my focus.

Can you imagine? No Mortgage.  Not paying some bank $842 dollars in interest while only $73 is applied to the principle. Talk about Home Ownership Nirvana!

As ideas usually do, I floated with it for awhile.  If I could erase anything in the world, what would it be?

I'm talking personal here. Not all those things everyone desires (well, except for the boys in the Pentagon and war toy manufacturers). Let's assume we all want there to be world peace, no hunger, no domestic violence or child abuse, bigotry out the door, unemployment gone and everyone, Everyone, treats animals with care.

Have you ever thought about what you would erase, personally, from your life?  I would, instantly, erase some poundage from various parts of my body. My giant eraser wouldn't hesitate even a moment to erase that brown spot on my left cheek, though I do like the couple of wrinkles around my eyes.  I would erase calories from cheesecake and lasagna. I would erase cholesterol from big fat medium rare steaks and carcinogens from hot dogs roasted until they are black.

Oh, Oh, and bacon, I would erase everything about bacon that my Dr says is bad for you.  I would erase the mileage between my family members, not that I want all of them on my front porch but it would be excellent if we all lived withing 5 or 10 minutes of each other.

I would erase my dislike for chocolate. Everyone but me is head-over-heels for it. I don't get it. I would probably erase my love for a nice glass of wine at the end of the day....uh, no, never mind, I would erase that I even thought that!

(see the writer brushing the little bits of eraser dust to the left, away from her cool glass of Reisling)

I would erase the oil stain on my brother's drive way which is visible from Google Earth. I would erase the pool two doors down that is filled with cloudy green stuff (sorry frogs and skeeters!)

What would you erase? Make it personal. In fact, as long as we have stepped into this dimension of unreality, what else would you change?

Tail-gaters! People who wait until they are 10 feet from the intersection to signal their turn?  People who chew gum with their mouth wide open?  I would fix the strap on my copper sandles, I loved those shoes!

Oh, yeah, I would erase the dog hair from the seats in my car and make it that my lovely Rex never shedded in the car or the house! Can you imagine the trail of dog hair when we take our walks?

I would change Mondays. I would have us wake up on Tuesday, brush our foreheads in relief and sigh, "Wow! Dodged another one!"

Get your magic hat out and think about what you want different. What you want erased.

Be careful, though. Don't try to erase bad memories. Those moments taught you something and you sure as hell don't want to have to learn those lessons again.

1 comment:

  1. Gum popping.
    Tree roots that grow into the drain pipe and cost $700.00 to clear out.
    Fundamentalists - religious or political
    Eye goop
    That nagging thought that something has come untucked while speaking in front of a room full of strangers.
    Mary's shoulder pain.
    And some other stuff


Comment Please but Play Nice!