April 11, 2014

Road Games

You're driving down the road. You left the house with plenty of time to reach your destination as promised. A James Taylor CD is crooning soothing tunes. Your favorite ride-along beverage, coffee, soda, a nice refreshing bottle of water, is in the cup holder. Clothes are all your most comfortable you own...that you can be out in public while wearing.

Nothing but smooth sailing.

You look up in the rear-view mirror. Big white pickup truck is weaving in and out of traffic behind you at a speed at least 12 miles faster than the rest of the vehicles.

Do you think, "Frickin' Idiot" and speed up until you are even with the back of the trailer on a big rig and slow down to block the "Idiot"?  Does your jaw get tight while you are teaching this guy a lesson?

What if you're in a hurry and some guy cuts you off?

Do you like road games? Have you designated yourself to be the Master of Road Etiquette?

I know what you are thinking. I think the same things.

"Who gave him permission to risk our lives so he can get somewhere first?"

"This jerk is full of himself, I'll show him!"

Typically though, I just pull over.  I get out of the way. There is enough of humanity fighting with each other and, frankly, the sooner the inconsiderate, demon driver is past me, the sooner I can get back to Sweet Baby James.

I have ridden along with the "players" though. I've witnessed the "I'll-show-you" gut reaction of otherwise pretty civil people. That's usually when I wish I had a xanax and I say a little prayer, "Dear God, if the other driver pulls out a gun, please let it be fast and clean. Don't let me suffer!"

(Side Note: I really don't want to be wounded because I still haven't lost that extra weight and what if the paramedics can't get me up on the stretcher? HOW HUMILIATING!)

There is almost always at least one of those speed-weavers on the road. Yes, it is annoying. But, when you have him blocked behind you and the semi, have you ever thought that maybe the driver's wife is delivering their first child and he is trying to get to the hospital? Maybe he is headed to the same hospital because his dad is in an ambulance after suffering a major stroke and his last conversation with Dad didn't end well. Maybe the crazy-ass driver just got a call from his daughter, "Daddy, a car came out of nowhere and crashed into my car. I can't move. I need you!"

Do you want to be the one who keeps someone from any of a hundred reasons why they would be racing down the street or highway?

Granted, there are a bunch of jerks who just believe they are entitled to go faster and be in front and that the laws don't apply to them.

Do you want to make the judgement call; which one of the scenarios is the motivation best applies in this moment?

Deep breath! "Let Go, Let God!" is what I always whisper to myself. Less white knuckles on my part.

This week an older man was taking his wife home from the hospital. She had just been released after major open heart surgery. In his stressful state he accidentally cut off a guy.

The "cut-off guy" became enraged! How dare those old people cut him off. He took off in pursuit, which just meant that he got right on their bumper and begin to shout obscenities at them. The older woman talked to her husband. Be calm, she said. She rolled her window down to apologize to the other driver as he pulled up beside them and ask him to be calm.

The other drive threw a large coffee mug at the innocent woman, smashing her face causing profuse bleeding. The woman was on blood thinner to try to prevent blood clots after her surgery. The older man made an immediate u-turn to head back to hospital but before they reached the hospital his wife stopped breathing. Hospital staff started CPR on her recently cracked open chest, reviving her breathing and heart beat but she has been in a coma ever since.

There are finger prints on the mug; the model of the car and license number of the car are known. The offender will be tracked down soon but is that going to help the old couple. Will that save her life?

What happened to "Love this neighbor!"  Doesn't anybody remember how to "roll with the punches!"

 If you are going to make war on the road then drop the disguise! Put on tighty whities two sizes too small or a bra that makes it hard to breathe. Wear shoes that pinch and a pair of pants that creates a royal muffin top. And for heaven's sake, put on some Metallica or some crude Rap on the radio.

Was this a ramble or does it make sense?

1 comment:

Comment Please but Play Nice!