April 22, 2014

Home Alone

A friend of mine was going to be home alone for a couple of days while his wife made a quick trip. He posted a list of possibilities for his time while exalting in alone-ness! (Notice, I did not use the sad word loneliness).

My husband and I were married almost 30 years ago. We've been together over 32 years.

His job would take him away from home occasionally for a week at a time. Now, I love my husband and I love being with him, but damn, I love being alone, too.

We both worked in high profile positions. We dealt with the public (good and bad) all day long, every day. We like people and we enjoyed our jobs but there were days when the energy could be sucked right out of you by good people in bad moods or in a hurry or who have lost their "nice" or left it at home.

The first couple of times Frank left for a conference or convention, one of his sisters would show up at the house each night he was gone. I can't tell you how many tubs full of hot water and bubbles up-to-here went cold and flat while I sat visiting in the living room. Or how many times a glass of wine, fluffed pillows and an open book called out to me from my bedroom. You won't believe how many bowls of shredded wheat (dinner) went soggy sitting on the counter in the kitchen while I sat in the family room being "kept company"!

Somewhere about Frank's fourth or fifth trip, on a Thursday evening (he was returning on Friday) I received a call from one of his sisters.

"Toni," she said, her voice full of guilt, "I am so sorry. Tonight is my turn to keep you company and I just can't make it, something has come up!"

"What?"  (That was me, sounding a little confused!) "What (still me) do you mean "its your turn" to keep me company?"

She explained that they had all thought I would be lonely on those nights while Frank was gone so they decided to take turns just dropping in to keep me company. You see, they love me and they didn't want me sitting alone, in the dark; depressed by the absence of their big brother!

After a good laugh, I put an end to all that nurturing support!

"What the hell!"(Me again). "Don't you all realize that I love being alone! I have paid my teenagers to go to a movie and have pizza afterwards just to have the house to myself! I love soaking in a tub of bubbles or bath salts for hours, reading, exfoliating, sipping a glass of Merlot! I love leaning into the pillows on my bed, reading for hours. Uninterrupted reading of a good book is second only to making love, simply orgasmic! Not having to speak to anyone for several hours and then having the whole bed and all the pillows to myself! Smothering my feet in vaseline and sleeping with his athletic socks on to soften my feet! Walking around the house with a hot oil treatment in my hair, plastic bags wrapped around my head and an oatmeal mask clinging and dripping from my face! Listening to my "chick" music or playing the piano and not worrying about mistakes. Passing gas freely without having to say, 'excuse me' and pretend to be embarrassed!"

Don't get me wrong. I love my husband. When he returns to the family abode, I am always happy to see him. I am rejuvenated! I have refilled my tank with go-juice! I greet him with open arms.

So, I put an end to Babysitting for Toni! My wonderful sisters-in-law will come over and float in the pool and talk sometimes when the old guy is gone but not because I don't want to be alone or can't be alone but because I really want to share time with them. There are also those times I relish the alone-ness.

Being alone with one's self is a good practice but being alone in your own home is paradise!

 My List
(for when I am home alone)

Refill My Tank!

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