May 22, 2014

Vegetarian?.....Who? Me?

Six most ugly words in the English language:

I don't want to be irreverent or trivialize the first five words but today I want to talk about Cholesterol! LDL, HDL, good cholesterol and bad cholesterol....ugly, ugly ugly.

For years I have been one lucky human being. I love steak, I love cheese and I love, love ice cream, cheesecake and macaroons. Every year my blood tests come back with glowing reviews. My BP is textbook perfect; almost always 120/80. One day it was 150/110 but it was taken (unfairly) right after I was weighed! Who does that to a human? Five minutes later my dr. took it again and it had dropped back down to 120/80.  

My cholesterol has always been pretty darn good, especially for an older, fluffy woman who loves Quesadillas and pork chops....."and bacon," she whispered softly. I did have a heart attack a couple of years ago but it was emotionally induced, not the result of physical condition.

I have been juicing almost everyday since January 1st. Fresh vegetable juice or fruit juice every morning for breakfast and lunch. Normal meal every evening. I was expecting my numbers to be neon, they would glow so much. They weren't.

Dr. says they aren't bad. Good cholesterol is right on, bad cholesterol rose, not to dangerous but substantially from where it had been!  She suggested putting me on lipid meds just to helps reduce the numbers!!!

Me on medicines that can cause 37 side effects, none of which are pretty or comfortable? Hell, No!

"What are my alternatives," I asked politely. I actually didn't verbalize the "hell, no," I just shook my head, which may come as a surprise to some of you who know me well. My brain cuts checks that my mouth cashes before I have a chance to deposit it in savings....I'm working on that!

"So," she tells me, "No meat, no dairy, no eggs!"

I can do without the meat, I think. I can do without eggs. NO CHEESE!!!! Shoot me!

She tells me that if I try it for 90 days, I will never want to eat meat or dairy or eggs ever again. I will be filled with energy. Fatigue will only be a word in the dictionary or the uniform of the military. She says I will lose weight, be full of energy, sleep better, feel better and (apparently, most importantly) my cholesterol numbers will return to pretty ones!

My husband says he'll join me on the new lifestyle (though he did say he was taking the dog for a walk and I saw his car back out of the driveway. Later, I discovered a Carl's Jr soda sitting beside the computer and western bacon burger wrappers in the bedroom trash bin. He had two fried eggs for breakfast yesterday with four pieces of toast (whole wheat) with butter. He ate all six of the left over Cheese Danish from the Book Club and last night, after dinner, he ate 3 slices of sourdough bread slathered with butter). We have always operated from different volumes of our own personal dictionaries. 

I do have to admit though that he didn't say he would join me.  His exact words were "What's good for the goose is good for the gander!" He just omitted the phrase "and then some!"

We go to the store, after plenty of research and stock up on veggies, fruits, oatmeal, green tea and ginger root, olive oil, black bean and walnuts.

It has been at least a week that I haven't indulged in any of the forbidden food items. I am taking my coffee black; good-bye Dutch Bros, I will miss you. (wiping tears from my eyes). I am eating oatmeal with bits of walnuts and dried cranberries for breakfast, still juicing every day. I am drinking freshly brewed green tea with chopped ginger root and lemon all day. Green tea and ginger are reported to increase metabolism by 20%, reduce cholesterol (bad cholesterol, bad cholesterol) and it tastes really good! We have salads and roasted vegetables for dinner.

Can I be honest with you? I feel great! I have so much energy, I sleep really good at night. I feel lighter...not in the way that I am losing weight but my body doesn't feel as heavy. I can walk down a flight of stairs without my new knee threatening to kung fu me to heaven (or hell).  

I don't miss meat. Okay, to be honest, we were at the movies yesterday and an advertisement for a hot dog jolted my brain for just a moment but it didn't induce saliva production. I'm thinking that's a good thing. I don't miss eggs but I can always make myself an egg white omelet but what's the point if I can't have cheese? I actually am not missing cheese either.

I noticed my jeans fitting a tad bit loose yesterday but I am not sure if they are the pair that are always a little loose or those other hey-one-person-at-a-time jeans with stretch denim.

How long do I have to be living like this before I can honestly make off-hand comments like, "No thank you, I'm a vegetarian!"  

This post is almost to the end. I am going to click on the little orange Publish rectangle on the upper right-hand corner, check my email and then...(drum roll) weigh myself. Wish I was at my sister's, her scale measures 7 pounds lite and I could use the inspiration. So wish me luck readers. 

Pray that I see a number displayed that will motivate me to drink some tea while I juice up my veggies. Pray, too, that the number doesn't scream, "Go the the freezer and get the box!"

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